My Own Chaos.

I thought it would be a good day to run double digits. The sun was out, the temperature was holding at a steady 55 degrees and I had the time to run. 

I looked in my dresser drawers for the perfect running clothes to go out in. I wasn't trying to look like a running DIVA, I was wanting climate control clothes.  I walked to the closet, stumped. Perfect weather..perfectly confusing.  Back to the drawers, Throw on the long sports bra, grab a jacket, then frustrated grab a completely different outfit. Small sports bra, long tank top, short sleeve shirt..."Grab the light jacket in case you get to hot and you have to tie it around your waist, Anita". I talk out loud to myself.

This weather for running in is nice with the cooler temps. But it can be frustrating if you over dress and heat up  or under dress and freeze your fanny off.
RULE OF THUMB. Add 10 DEGREES. Today the temp said 55 degrees.  I knew it was going to be 65...So I was confused. I added my 10 degrees to the current temp and ended up leaving my black jacket on the porch after feeling the sun heating the fabric up.

I have no idea how I survive sometimes. My mind never shuts down. My thoughts interupt each other and I have a compartment for most things in my mind but for the thoughts that are not organized it leaves my mind a cluttered mess!
Running clears my head. Being outside and running helps me to clean out the clutter and polish what needs cleaned and dispose of unwanted thoughts, ideas and other trash that quickly builds up in that little mind of mine. I even sometimes think..Little head..Little Brain?? Oh DEAR.
Today I seemed organized, but then most of the time right before a blunder I thought I was in total control and am left saying to myself  "UGH, Really Anita!?!"

Todays "Anita MOMENT" : I left the house to run a new loop. I thought it would average about 9 to 10 miles and I would have to add some distance to get to 10. I ran to the new road. As I turned right into uncharted territory I suddenly got overwhelmed with fear.  DOGS. I got myself so wadded up I took my ear buds out of my ears so I could hear if any 4 legged beasts were coming for me. Then I could also hear my breathing and my shoes hitting the gravel. Now scared and paranoid I was hardly breathing and kept coaching myself  "Light as a feather" ,"Soft and smooth". It was ridiculous, I even thought about running with a stick! If you haven't been able to tell I am scared to death of dogs!

No Dogs today! But I did get lost, I calculated the wrong road. My directions now had me turning back around which meant 2 more mishaps. I had a HUGE 1/2 mile incline to go up (I really loved going down it!) and I was going AGAINST the wind all the back home!

The wind was so bad I felt like I was just getting pushed around. My 5'1, 106 frame was taking a beating. Every time a semi truck came towards me I hunkered down, dropped my head and clung on for dear life! I thought I was going to fly right off the over-pass running acrossI-75.

Lost, hills, head wind and AIR HEAD!!

THE RUNDOWN:
Distance: 11.01
Pace: 8:16
Time: 1:31

Very TIRED day. It probably didn't help that I had a DR's appointment today and his conclusion to my Hypothyroidism was discouraging.
Basically he needs to up my dose but if he does I will loose weight. I can not afford to loose a pound! I was so excited that I weighed in this morning at 106 lbs. It is probably that chocolate from "Amanda" that I have eaten every night that helped put 3 pounds on me. But overall I have to just live with being tired and watch for the other symptoms in hopes they don't show up.

Gratitude:
Thankful for the candle that mom dropped off for me while I was running. Sage Citrus. My favorite.
Thankful for Insurance to have my health checked out.
Thankful for the ALL the boys bonding through farts, burps,and inappropriate gross conversations. Their laughter is priceless even if their actions are disgusting!

Thankful for Gods Mercy and Grace. That He loves me for the complicated,confused, miscalculated mess I can be. When I am concerned that others "Don't get me." I am reminded I am Perfectly and Wonderfully made." That He makes NO Mistakes. That HE doesn't see a Mess..He sees a Masterpiece.

Psalms 139:1-4O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord you know it altogether.

Anita