Even though the nap sounded good and was going to feel amazing I knew that there would be consequences to pay.
I knew I had to run and I knew it was going to be a painfully hot run.
Mom and dad wanted to see a movie but there was not much out so we decided to go over there and go swimming. Even though I have seen a lot of family in the month of June I have not spent a lot of time with mom. I wanted to be with her. Enjoy her and feel comfortable in our relationship. Mom doesn't mean to be different around others but she gets really nervous around all her family because she wants everyone to get along. She knows I don't get mad at her for her small change in personality. I am very secure in our relationship even when she sometimes takes that nervous energy out on me. I usually lay back away from her and let her do her thing. I love mom and know she loves me no matter what the circumstances are.
Getting off on a rabbit trail there the whole point was I wanted some quiet time with her. So I decided I would run over to moms and meet Andy there.
Austin out of the blue offered to ride his bike with me while I ran. This was so sweet because it was so miserably hot out. I knew he just wanted to hurry and get to moms and was hoping we would get there first so he could jump in the pool.
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| Andy came down the road to check on us!! |
As we got to mile 2 I asked Austin "What would you do if I passed out right here on this dirt road?" Austin replied "Well I would probably not do anything for a millisecond trying to figure out what just happened! But then I would pour cold water on you and run to a house and call dad."
I thought it sounded like a pretty good plan. Especially because I was not feeling so good. I didn't feel like I was going to pass out but I did feel like I was running in a inferno. Just having him near me, talking to me, encouraging me and telling me goofy things was such a life line. I looked over at that 13 year old boy who is ahead of his time and just fell in love with him all over. "Austin I am so thankful you came out to be with me while I ran, I don't think I could have done it without you." I said to him. I didn't see a little boy next me with training wheels and a over-sized bike helmet asking me "Are we there yet?" No I saw I young man, strong and tall, thoughtful and concerned for his mother in the heat. Where does the time go? BLINK...." Come on mom, shorten your stride and get up the hill." Here he was sharing his running advice and asking me if I was ok.
I wanted time to stand still. I was physically miserable in the heat. I wanted to get to the end as fast as I could. My legs were tired from the hills and the temperatures and I was having a hard time controlling my breathing. But every agonizing feeling during my 5 mile run was trumped by the love I was receiving from my son. He made my pain not only bearable he made it embraceable.
I wish I could bottle those moments up.
As I finished with several rolling hills I kept repeating "Focus and Finish" "God give me Strength"
Well I finished. I am plum tuckered. There is so much more I want to share.
I got a package in the mail this week.......
I signed up for a race......
Well I will save that news for tomorrow!
Sweet dreams, God Bless.
Anita
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