The Hardest thing ever.

Austin and me~

What is the hardest thing you have ever done?
Think about it? Did it require Physical Pain? Emotional Pain? Financial Pain? Was it a Circumstance that you had to go through? Was is a Ailment you had to recover from?

I think about this frequently. Growing up and coping with an alcoholic mother was very difficult. There were times that I thought that another day  in that life was going to bury me. There were times when I wished it did.

Giving birth to my over 8 lbs of pure Joy was difficult. I refused to get an epidural, enduring the pain and pushing that little Hercules out was definitely a feet in itself.
But even that was not the hardest thing ever. I wouldn't even rank it in the top 5.

Now, running the Chicago Marathon to qualify for Boston is really tied for 1st. 90 degrees of pure sun for 26.2 miles was like running in HELL. I peed my pants multiple times. I was on the cusp of a heat stroke, I was battling cold sweats and shivers in blazing heat. I had Pacers screaming at me and passing me water as I would try to shake off the fear and panic my body was alerting me to. I was delirious and confused at the last 5 miles. I wanted so bad to just fall over. I thought I was going to literally DIE.
But that was not even the hardest thing I have ever done...

I have pushed out a 8 lb baby..pretty easy, Ran through hell, grew up in Dysfunction Junction and had to bury my mother at 18 and STILL nothing comes close to a raising preteen, pubescent, overstimulated, hormonal teenager..He is 13 this summer!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians  13:4-8b
I was speaking in our Addiction group on Tuesday about Love and not letting our loved ones push our button, "LOVE IS PATIENT..." I gave a scenario that had occurred regarding my 12 year old and his temper tantrum. My son is not addicted to drugs or alcohol but he was a temper. Suddenly the group hugged me with words of encouragement. I needed that so bad.

A picture is worth a 1000 WORDS!!

I wake up in the morning wanting to be the best mom I can be and when I go to bed at night I feel like the biggest failure that has walked the earth. I think our first born children should have a return policy. Or there should be a "REDO" on them. I want so hard to do the right thing. But after I do what I think is the right thing I feel like it is all wrong. I can perform the exact same way one day then the next I find the whole strategy has completely flipped dipped and tripped over itself. I look at the brilliant, beautiful boy one day who has the whole world in the palm of his hands, then the next his HALO is so tilted it is hanging on by a thread...if at all. I wasn't warned or prepared.

It is so hard. I can run 26.2 miles sweating and peeing my pants and it seems like a cake walk compared to this!
Today was a good day. One day at a time. We both had a good day in our roles. I am not sure what tomorrow holds. I want to be Patient, Loving kind..
I want to be more than I am. Thank God for new days, second chances..For Both Of Us!!

What is Your Hardest thing you have ever done?
Are you raising teens? Do you find challenges raising Your children? I would love to know I am not alone, is there others that can offer their advice, encouragement?

Anita~