Fire Runner

Tina and I....Trailer Park Girls~

 I DID the Active Treadmill workout AGAIN!! I even added another rep to the first set! The entire workout was 7 miles for me. It took about an hour. I didn't get sick to my stomach this time, but it did hurt just the same. As I was finishing my 5th rep on the first set I kept juggling whether or not to do another rep. My mind said "DO IT push Past Discomfort" but my body said.'"NO, I will hate you forever".  All in. I am so glad I did it. Yes, it hurt, Yes, I sounded like you needed to call EMS, Yes, I was sweating like a stuck pig...BUT YES I DID IT!!! That has to count for something! Think of me on your next "NOO, I will hate you forever moment." And give yourself a little more..You Can Do IT!!!

A little Piece of Me: Fire Runner
I grew up a "Trailer Park Kid". Before I knew there was a stigma about those Kids, I had already fit into the description.
My mom was a single mom, alcoholic, addict and didn't work (she couldn't-disability), that's another story.
My sister and I ran the streets because anything was better than being at home. I stayed the night mostly at others houses' if I could. Back then there were no cell phones so I wasn't worried about my mom chasing after me. Half the time she didn't really know where I was. I very rarely stayed in my own bed during the school weeks let alone weekends! It really is a wonder nothing ever happened to me, living in the trailer park was no candy land. I took care of myself from the time I could remember.

This is a running story before I was a runner. I was a 15 year old trailer park kid. My mom was bindging pretty bad. I hated to be home. I would come in the front door of the trailer and if it was locked I would break in my front bedroom window, removing the screen then shimmying the glass till it unlatched. Once I got in I would access the home front. If Mary Lou was tanked, angry or passed out I packed my bags and bolted. Never thinking of any one but myself. My poor little sister. Gina, my sister was the classic enabler, she gave mom whatever she wanted, mom would be fine, Gina would take care of her.

Off to "Tina's" trailer over on Apple Ct.  I lived at the beginning of the park and she lived in the far back. Tina's family were always so welcoming. Everyone but their dog. That stinking dog "Peppy" was the mangiest mutt I ever met. That mutthole dog would always nip at me, I was so scared of the thing. Tina's dad was a volunteer firefighter for Brandon. He had one of those radios that get all the 911 calls .
One night asleep on Tina's floor we awoke to chaos. Her Dad had gotten a call of a trailer burning down in the park. I can't remember anything other than running. No shoes, cold wet pavement against the soles of my feet and panicked. No one said it was my house...I just knew. I ran till my lungs were about to collapse, then I would walk briskly, half running..The fear would then set back in and I would break back into my sprint.  My mom would not only drink until she passed out, she would smoke cigarettes and drink till she passed out

I could see all the lights as I approached my street. My fears were confirmed. I am not the most brilliant book smart person..you should know this if you follow my blog (my writing is terrible) but what I am is pretty street smart. I KNEW they were at my house and that Mary Lou fell asleep with her cigarette...again.
Everyone was fine. I was probably the worst off. I was out of breath, angry and totally embarrassed of my mother who was still drunk and my friends dad on the scene. I ran breathlessly  all the way there to discover what I had already knew, now I just wanted to run far far away........

Proverbs 30:5 “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”

Her dad was a saint, he never made me feel bad or uncomfortable, my mom cleaned up for a minute, and life continued as I knew it in the new trailer!
 I regurgitate these memories with love and healing. I learned running away from things didn't make it go away, But RUNNING to God made things easier. I am not anything special but I know I am better than I could have been. I thank GOD for his protection on me.  Struggling with things I had NO control over as a kid taught me to fight for everything I have, to never give up and to Recognize IN LIFE WHAT CHANGES YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE to not continue the cycle.
But Above all..TO TRUST..Truly trust In GOD. Someone BIgger that me, Bigger than my hurts, Bigger than addiction..To Give It all To him...And when I did..He Carried me~

Anita~