Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Roller Coaster of Emotions..

1 Peter 5:7"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
 I am emotionally drained today. Kinda struggling between several different emotions. I try to remind myself to not let my emotions "run my ship". I know that "Feelings" are not Facts". But today I am wrestling with an array of different emotions.
Today I feel like that little kid caught in a game of monkey in the middle. I am in the middle. I keep going back and forth between different feelings. Confusion, sadness, joy and a few others I have not put a face on yet. I feel like I can not get control on myself. Like I am in a constant panic attack.
I know a few people that say " I don't care what others think about me."  That is easy to say about people you have no connection to. But for those we care about it is not as easy to disconnect. At least not for me.

I have some circumstances that have put great weight on my heart as of lately.
From the moment I woke up I was in prayer.My day was so busy I could hardly catch my breath. From 6:30am  reading and praying till after 9 pm I have been moving and praying though out the day.
Psalm 55:22 "Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." 
I discus the "Roller Coaster Ride" of emotions when we are in our support group and today I was on it. It wasn't that the day was bad it was actually a great day. My morning was stellar with the kids, I was able to get groceries and get them even put away!
The boys had a half day of school due to parent teacher conferences so I had only 1 hour to run. I quickly dressed and drove my truck to the school and ran from there. But even throughout my run I couldn't tell if I was having a panic attack or my sugar was low. It was an Anxiety Run. I was even in great prayer during my run. Praying for those who are struggling and hurting and praying for situations and for myself and my reactions to others.
I was able to enjoy the comments of the teachers at parent teacher conferences. I was blessed with the boys both getting on the honor roll. Yet there was still that nagging feeling attached to me like a parasite. It was leaching off me trying to steal my joy.
With each prayer I found myself interrupting my prayer with my situations. I would start out talking to God and asking him to Help me, Guide me, Give me Discernment and Wisdom. I would ask him different things on different situations but then without even realizing it I would get distracted by my heartache and would no longer be praying, I would be ruminating the circumstance through my head...
It is Ok to feel our feelings. But most importantly we have to be aware of how we respond to them. I can not control how others look at me, define me, or what they think of me. But I can control how I respond to them. I know I will make others upset, and I hate this but I know how my heart works. And I have to make sure I let God fill my heart so I can respond with HIM coming out of it.

Luke 6:45 "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills heart.

  • Do you let your emotions get the Best of you?
  • How do you discern between Emotions and Facts?
  • Are you good at "Letting God and Letting Go"?
THE RUNDOWN:
PACE:7:49
DISTANCE:7:01
TIME:55 min
COMMENTS: Great Weather, Did good navigating my distance to get back to the school on time, just wish I could have gotten rid of my anxiety. But Came home to a surprise..Andy came home and took me out to lunch. Nice trophy~


Anita

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