Beat up..

I am sitting on my bed with my legs up, my husband reading and my dog..Garmin Eater all resting. I am hurting for certain. After my 20 mile run diagnosed by my Nike plus..Lets not forget this weeks tragedy..The loss of our Garmin I am wiped out.
It all started before my day began, last night. I read the weather report and they were calling for 90% rain. So last night the voices of reason and procrastination began.
"Hmm, well I will just go to the treadmill at the gym and do half my miles and run long Wednesday."
"Yeah, that will be good. I should be careful anyway.."
"Blah Blah Blah"..My favorite line because half the time I do not make any sense out of what I am thinking anyway but it all seems like it is logical and reasonable. Hey don't think I am crazy I know you have this same line you just haven't realized it.
When I woke up my running partner text me right out of the gate, "Would luv 2 run w u 2day!"
Yeah, that pretty much sabotaged those voices in my heads' grand scheme of procrastination.
I quickly responded, "Count me in!!" before I had to reason with the voices again.
TEMPERATURE: 37 Degrees, head wind 15 mph, mostly cloudy
So with that being said off I went..first 5 miles feeling OK, feel a little sluggish, and pretty slow but we are moving.
Meet Heidi at 9.63 miles and I am soo happy I needed a body of encouragement.
We were not talking a whole lot. She wanted to do 8 miles. So we took another route but without a Garmin it is hard to navigate where to go. We went and let me tell you I paid the piper today. TOO many hills. It took it right out of me, by mile 15 I felt the knee start throbbing. Oh this is not good. I was already hurting, My hipflexor was giving me pain about mile 8, I just chalked it up to my hydration belt being to tight. The things we convince ourselves. We had to make a pit stop in the bowling alley for a bathroom break and that was at mile 16. At this point I realized a couple things.
1. I over did it with hills
2. I still had 4 more to do..I think I am gonna die.
3. I over mapped the course for Heidi. I felt bad because I do not want her to get injured.
I was going to have to dig deep for the last 4. Which the first mile was all uphill and against the wind. I went to mile 18.40 and turned around wishing her luck and reminding her to ice it and relax the rest of the day. The last mile and half I wanted to croak. I felt like Yertle the Turtle..I was moving but not like a gazelle. My IT Band was torqued and my knee was throbbing.
" Dear God release this pain, take this pain away." That's what I kept praying, This was what I heard responding..
"Anita, what part of not running hills did you NOT hear?"
"You get feeling good and you run a race& 3 days later run 20 miles with hills..Can you say NON COMPLIANT.."
I got it, But like always we get feeling good and take it all into our hands. We become our own voice blocking all the intelligent ones out! We start running and get the endorphins confused with divine wisdom.
So here I sit. Every muscle aching, Beating myself up mentally because I already beat myself up physically. And as far as socially I beat up my partner adding miles to her run..I beat myself up financially not putting my Garmin away ( Shebas $150 dollar beef jerkey)and even broke my Ipod case today.
Like Heidi said.."Every run is different, sometimes you have good ones and sometimes you don't"
With Christ all things are Possible...I am grateful to be able to run 20 miles today..And the rain held off, Against the wind, up hills, It band killing me, Beaten up..But NOT beaten down!

Anita