This Quarantined Life: Savor

"You know me, I check the science.." That's Claudia. She reads, listens to podcasts, enjoys documentaries and continuing to learn and grow. Claudia is deep and thoughtful. I was excited to have her share her thoughts on this Quarantine Life. You will be inspired by her inspiration and insight. 

Claudia and I last August running the Marquette 50k. 

“We should learn to savor some moments to let time feel worth existing”
― Munia Khan I’m  a student, by nature, so when quarantine began, taking a course seemed like a perfect opportunity to learn something new.  I enrolled in The Science of Well Being, free from Yale University.  It debunks misconceptions about happiness and imparts strategies to achieve an improved state of being. A bonus: there’s no required reading. Stop and Savor Quarantine has provided an opportunity for me to slow down and embrace discomfort as a source of strength. Intrigued by the concept of savoring, I decided to focus on it more intently, as it seemed to be the area in which challenged me most.  As we walk around with heavy hearts and worn spirits, how do I savor?  Savoring is  “the simple act of stepping out of your experience to review it and really appreciate it while it’s happening.”  To savor the moment, notice what's going right, and appreciate it, I had to practice the simple act of stopping and noticing.  This isn't the same as pretending you're happy when you're not; it's more about noticing the things that lead to happiness. And it is, indeed, a practice. I am hearing the birds more then ever, seeing the uniqueness of trees during runs, I  already yearn for the smell of spring flowers and flowering trees. I’ve read more books and listened to more music.  Like many of you, I had never experienced—until now—any event that brought life to a complete standstill.  I hope there is time for you to stop and notice the beauty in life itself. Course or no course, it’s really worth it. Click HERE for link to The Science of Well Being. 

The morning started out beautiful. Cooler tempertures, a soft breeze and a dry trail motivated me to try and run 16 miles at Holly Rec. My body felt excited and moved freely through the path cut in the woods. 

Feeling whimisical I sang and danced to the tunes my ear buds sang to me. 

By mile 4, I felt a twinge of pain in my heal.
By mile 8, that pain turned into a nagging dull ache.
I gutted it out. Andy surprised me and showed up on the trails right about mile 8.
By mile 12, I was in the hurt locker.
I told Andy to go ahead at mile 15.  As I finished up that last mile, I hobbling and tried not to get frustrated with my broken body. I morphed into the beauty around me.
SAVORING the moment, not the feeling my body had but the presense surroundng me, creating a feeling of gratitude. Then I savored it letting everything else go to the wayside. Anita~

This Quarantined life: Danielle - The Smallest Thing

I graduated from Brandon High school in 1992. When blue eyeliner and Aquanet were part of your morning routine right before you pegged your pants listening to Culture club on your boom box. 

Even though we graduated together we never really new one another until almost 20 years later. 2011, I was running my first Boston Marathon with about 30,000 runners. I was fidgeting with my watch and asking a stranger for our pace when I heard this soft voice "ANITA...Anita...…" I looked behind me and there was Danielle! We ran together to about mile 15, catching up and hoping to continue to see each other....

Danielle is one of the kindest souls I know. We have shared many miles together and together many injuries together! I am so grateful God put her in my path all those years ago. 

 

You will enjoy her words! She gives such beautiful detail to this quarantined life. 

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. Gilbert K Chesterton 

Danielle has always wanted to run with me no matter the pace, sick or healthy she always makes me feel loved. 

Quarantine tip#1

The biggest thing my entire family has learned over these 8 weeks of quarantine is to never take the smallest thing for granted.  I guess that goes along with Anita’s nugget of gratitude.  We have used this time to stop and smell the roses - or lilacs, or honeysuckle, or whatever flowering item we happen to run or drive by.  Like many families, our “normal” lives were filled to the brim with work, school, running, coaching, track practice, robotics, etc etc etc.  We loved these activities, but at the same time you realize that some days, you have forgotten to stop and look around.   Today, I enjoy the extra time walking the dogs with my husband in the morning before he “commutes” to our den to work from home.  I enjoy a cup of tea on our porch or deck while I watch the birds and animals frolic in the backyard. I have had the joy of running with my teenage daughter multiple times a week.  This has become our time to “talk” about life, lessons learned, whatever is on a 14 year old girls mind!  We have had the distinct honor of MORE time with our son, who like Alec, is a senior.  Usually this time of year is filled with so much activity for a senior who is about to graduate.  Yes, it is sad that seniors have missed out on many of their “lasts” of so many things. For us, it’s a chance to have deep conversations with our children, to hold onto that last shred of childhood before our son spreads his wings into adulthood and leaves the nest.  We value dinner at the table with conversations about our day and the world’s events.  We learn from each other. We listen, we communicate, we play games, we have watched the trees and flowers bloom.  We miss our family and friends, but we get to see them virtually, and in some cases more often than before.  Through it all, we have learned to value our relationships, our activities such as (gasp,dare I say it!) school, sports teams, robotics, going out for ice cream, the mundane day to day activities that you don’t realize you really do take for granted until you have to consciously and strategically plan to do these items.  It hasn’t all been easy, but we have learned to slow down just a little and enjoy every single moment.

Danielle~

Such great words!! Thank YOU Danielle for sharing! 

Anita~

This Quaratined Life: Jeffs HUGS

When I was diagnosed with TNBC I called Jeff, he was at a loss for words. The silence told me Jeff was choosing his words. That is Jeff. He chooses his words and they are always perfect. He is a kind soul. I am blessed to call him friend. 

Todays guest writer is JEFF. 

The first time I ever met Jeff was at Snap Fitness over 10 years ago. He would be on the treadmill next to me. We are both that person that likes to talk to strangers or those that are strange! We have since shared many miles together, we even ran Boston together in 2014.  

I have looked up to Jeff as a coach. He is like "Rainman" with numbers, always adding, subtracting, extrapolating miles, pace repeats, it makes my head explode. 

Jeff has a goofy sense of humor, making me feel a little more "normal." I used to think God broke the mold when he made me, but then I met Jeff and realized I am not the only goofball out there. 

You are in for a treat reading this. 

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Most mornings since I retired several years ago my wife and I wake up, make the bed together, and meet at the foot of the bed for a hug.  We never begin a day without it; at least when we get up together.  After 48 years of marriage we take nothing for granted.  We hug for thanks, making it through another night and we hug in celebration of spending one more day together. We’ve always been “huggers”….in churches, friends, and especially family.



She’s the last and only person I’ve been able to hug since March 9^th.  You’d think that being able to hug your soulmate on a daily basis would be enough; and in many respects you’d be right; but I so miss the other hugs.  I miss hugging “my girls”…both now in their 40’s; the oldest who had a pretty severe bout with Covid herself. I remember one long night in late March when her pulse/ox readings dipped to dangerous levels and she was struggling to breathe. She was debating whether or not she would go to the hospital.  My wife broke down sobbing; “we’re gonna lose her she said, I just know it.” All I wanted as a father was to hug her and tell her “I’m here for you”….and I couldn’t. I so miss hugging my 4 grandkids ranging in age from 9-26.



The oldest two grandkids live about 2 miles from me, the two youngest live near Los Angeles: but distance is irrelevant now, isn’t it. The littlest one would run across the airport and throw herself into my arms, squeezing me so tight she would almost cut off my air.  People hail Facetime, Zoom and the other forms of visual contact without touch; and to be sure they help.  But communication in this fashion has limits.  I can’t hug through a screen, can’t feel the squeeze around my neck, the warmth of the cheek against mine. I can’t walk through an airport hand-in-hand….but we’re living.  At the end of the day that’s what counts. Never thought the innocent act of hugging from other people would have such meaning….God, what I wouldn’t give for one now.
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I so enjoyed reading his Quarantine thoughts, Hugs. Yes, please.

They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything.     

Bil Kean

Come back tomorrow for Danielles Quaratnine thoughts. These are so encouraging. 

Anita~

Quarantine Tip #5 SIMPLICITY

"Everything seems simpler from a distance." Gail Tsukiyama

I can overcomplicate a fart Andy always tells me. I tend to overthink things and create more than meets the eye.
I have been given the acronym "KISS" by many a people.
Keep It Simple Stupid. Its a little raw but it is direct and doesn't dance around the point which is the point!

Andy and I got married at 22 years old 24 years ago. Just babies. We have seen a lot in 24 years.
Last year, was a very tough year in our marriage.
Many many times I would wake up soo sick from the chemo to find Andy standing over me in tears. His strong stubborn wife lay lifeless, fragile and weak.
He never missed a chemo appointment or  a Dr. appointment. I would fight all of hell to try to be normal, to run, to laugh to feel and Andy could tell. He would beg me to not run, to eat more, to drink more, to rest more. He would plead with me in fear I would end up in the hospital.
He would tell me I was beautiful as I sat up on the bathroom counter inches from my face in tears. I didn't recognize myself, so bald, so gray, dark circles and poisoned from chemo I would just stare.

Psalm 116:6  "The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me." 

Here we celebrate an epic year in the midst of a quarantine.
"Anita, what do you want for our anniversary?" Andy honestly asked.
I wanted nothing. I had everything. LIFE.

SIMPLICITY: 

"Everything seems simpler from a distance." Gail Tsukiyama

During this quarantined life I have learned to enjoy the little things. The simple things.
"I want to get away and run!" I told Andy.
He found us a hotel on the water in Traverse city and a trail in the woods.
It was everything I could have wanted. Experiences have proven to be more meaningful than items.
The Vasa Pathway 25K:
From the parking lot it looked pretty low key, wide, well traveled and maintained.
It was already pushing 80 degrees by the time we started. Not even to the 5k mark we were both sweating and whining about the elevation.
This trail was very challenging. I lead the way and had no problem navigating through the woods. The trail was very well marked. We both brought extra water but Andy didn't bring any salt tabs or Tailwinds for electrolytes. Andy kept calling me a bada$$ because I was running strong.
The hills kept coming, it didn't look bad from a distance but we learned quick that the trail was more than meets the eye!

Rundown: 
Distance: 15 miles
Time: 2:43
Pace: 10:52

SO HERES SOMETHING FUN!
I have guest writers sharing a quarantined tip they have learned the last several weeks. I am so excited to share with you their nuggets!
Tomorrow please join me to read what Jeff, my unofficial coach has to share. 

BIG SHOUT OUT TO CRISTINE K for running 2 marathons back to back to honor the Veterans. I woke up to meet her at 6am in Waterford to run a few of her 4.30 mile loops with her. This gal never quit smiling. Coming in after running 2 loops, Joe Burns was waiting for her in the parking lot to share another loop. The 3 of us did another loop and met up with Danial Sweeney who was chasing 100 miles. He ran through the night and the heat. 

People doing things for others, that is where its at. 

ANITA~

Quarantine Tip #4: Branches

I am sitting outside writing and fully aware that my back is burnt from being outside all day and yet I can not bring myself in to save myself from further damage.
Such an "Anita" move. Having cancer last summer left me pretty white due to the fact that I couldn't be in the sun. Today, I embrace every minute I can to be outside however, I will be thinking differently this evening I am sure.

If you have ran with me or even hiked with me you will know that I LOVE trees. Old, broken, wild looking trees. This week, I was running at Holly rec at a trail less traveled and came across this beauty. I stood dwarfed at its base and  in awe of its grandeur.
As the branches all grew in different directons, I thought of how I could relate to this.

This Branches of Communication is a follow-up from a few days ago.
Communication has to come from within you, you are the Trunk.  And if you are not rooted properly your branches can really be a mess. Bad communication can be fierce and uncultivated or it can be bare and lifeless.

Honesty is the best policy. 
1. Honesty helps build a bridge to trust.
Giving honest answers and opinions when asked. Sometimes we think that we need to tell people our honest but most of the time it is only serving us and can hurt more than it helps.
Yes, it is important to be honest when you are communicating but sometimes your delivery is the problem.
I am very passionate and tend to communicate my passion with emotion, this honesty can hurt my relationships if I let my emotions control me. I have a lot of personal experience here.
Being in Quarantine has a lot of us very emotional. I have to really take a step.

Snap Judgements smother discussion. 
James 1:19 "....Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.."
1. Listen ALL the way through.
2. Stop judging (different isn't always wrong).
3. Snap Judgements intimidate and bully one another.
4. By passing judgements on one another's attempts to communicate we create a totem pole with us on top. This equivalates to a lack of equality in the relationship and real communication becomes impossible.

Language of the limbs.
Body language often expresses what the other person is really thinking or feeling better than words.

Anger Breeds Anger.
1. Any angry person is not a communicating person
2. We can be assertive and stand up for ourselves without being abrasive or aggressive.
I grew up in a very hostile home. Addiction is like that. That Irish/Mexican blood runs hot! Anger was a very common emotion. I am very comfortable in a pool of Anger. It is not a good place for me and it is a place that takes intentional effort to remain calm. I hate myself when I give Anger control over me. I can see so much destruction in just moments.

Controlling Communication.
1. We do not have to be controlled by what other people say.
I always so "You do not have to go to every argument you are invited to!
2. HOWEVER, we do not have to try and control other people with our words and body language. OUCH!

This quarantined life has brought communication to a whole new place for many of us. From Facetime calls to Zoom meetings I have personally communicated on different levels than I had in the past.
My branches have always been a little dense. Not because I am Chatty Kathy, rather because I enjoy contact and connection with people. (and not because I am NOT chatty Kathy)!
I still have some branches that are a tangled mess of imperfection, I am a work in progress.
I really do embrace communication and the opportunity to share, receive and learn even when it can be sometimes painful.

These are my thoughts, I am no scholar, a Hairstylist by trade. Over 20 years behind the chair, I have learned a few things on communication.

Here are the other tips I have learned in this Quarantined Life.

1. Off Key
2.  Quarantine Nugget: Confidence 
3. Imperfect Progression: Communication 

I have been trying to write a little more, it has been very therapeutic for ME. I will post them but I do not leave them up long. My goofy Anita garble.

RUNDOWN:
I am 8 months POST chemo! My body is still in recovery mode.
My feet are still a hot mess. I wish someone else recovering from cancer could tell me if this is normal. Neuropathy is no joke.
My knee is still slowly healing. I am sure it would come along faster if I just didn't run. But truth be told when I do not run my knees hurt just as bad, so I RUN.
A little slower, a little more cautious and a little more intentional.
May 4-10= 45miles of running AND walking.
11th-17th= 60 miles of running AND walking.
This week I have 30 miles so far.

HEAD GOAT VIRTUAL RACE: I signed up for this for the month of May. It is my FIRST Run streak challenge. Several of my friends signed up. Angie W, Melissa T, Melissa S, Elizabeth J, Rachel D, Cristina, Brad B, Pam C, and Steve H, and so many more.
It has been so much fun. I have never been a fan of virtual races but Randy has put so much work into making this run fun, encouraging and motivating.
All you have to do is WALK or RUN everyday for 31 days.

It has been so successful that he is doing it for June.
AND...ITS FREE! you give what you can! I think it is very important to support these local businesses.
Check out this out Michigan Stay-Cay Your Way, Link here
Need motivation, Sign UP and Run with me virtually!

I just want to give a shout out to a couple of my readers, Maybe the only 2 of my readers!
Connie, my neighbor from my old house. I have not lived in that neighborhood in almost 7 years and she loved and supported me through my cancer last year even in her own sickness.
Patty. She is a client of mine. I just love when we chat that she reads my goofy words. I would see her ever 4 weeks and I would love that she would be so in tune with me through my blog.

In Closing, How are your branches? I know that writing these post have really help me do a lot of self inventory. Just because I write this does not mean I have perfected it, I am working on it. I have failed on many of it but I keep trying.

Anita~

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.      Mark Twain

Imperfect Progression: Communication

Some of us are beginning to creep out of the house.
While I have not been to any stores or done any shopping I have ventured out to run.
My regular crew of running partners have not met together in weeks.
I have ran in secret with some of my running friends, being responsible but keeping it on the down low afraid of the scrutiny of others.
Friday night a late invite to run at Rose Oaks was presented. It was going to be beautiful out, I was so excited that I didn't have to run alone.

Imperfect Progression. 
This is why I love my running partners. We don't just run, we share, encourage and pray for one another.
This Quarantine Life has been difficult for everyone, me included.
I am not that person that wants my friends to pump sunshine up my butt. Don't sugar coat things, tell me honestly. Don't feel sorry for me for everything that I have been through. If I am out of line, call me out in Love. 
As we ran, I communicated some of my imperfections. Trust me, we didn't have enough miles or time to run and go through all of them! But I LOVED these two words recited to me.
IMPERFECT PROGRESSION.
I let these words saturate my thoughts as I lost focus for a few seconds on the beauty in this vocabulary.

This Quarantine Life brings me to Communication. 
Learning to choose my words wisely has always been a struggle for me because I am so reactionary and easily excited.

Luke 6:45 "The good man brings out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart the mouth speak," 

Communication: the words we speak reflect: Who we are, what we think, judge, feel, value, honor, love, hate, believe in, commit to, ect...
Example: If we think we are inappropriate in life our communication will reflect feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

“Who you are is speaking so loudly that I can’t hear what you’re saying” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have to put myself in a conscious "Time Out" when I am struggling because I am so afraid that I will respond with emotion.

I have to give grace to both myself and others.
1. What you say is often NOT what other people hear.
2. And what you hear is not what other people are saying!
   **Don't leave understanding to chance.
   **Repeat your point different ways (not to annoyance)
3. Ask the listener what they heard.
4. Don't take people around the block..Be clear and precise.
5. If you don't know what you mean-BE QUIET and think about it, bridle your tongue.

I am 46 years old and I am still practicing these and failing at them.
That's the Imperfect Progression.

I miss the interaction with people. Now we have all this blank space that is left to interpretation.
We have more time than ever and yet we are still struggling communicating.
Fear, insecurity, anxiety, worry are just a few of what many of us are wresting with.

RUNDOWN: 
Distance: 12 miles
Where: Pontiac Lake and Foley rd

I jumped in for a last minute run out at Pontiac Lake. I was concerned on how my body would do after running 15 miles yesterday.
I was clinging on for dear life trying not to fall back to far. My knee surprised me and was very kind to me. I would drop back but catch up on the hills. I didn't have much for chit chat, I just wanted so bad to be able to hang.
By mile 8, I knew I had it. The pace picked up a bit but I was still in the game.
It was my fastest Pontiac Lake Loop ever! I was so stoked, I beat my time by 10 minutes.
Play time wasn't over. I still had this vertical mile challenge I am doing for a virtual race I am doing, Head Goat.
Andy drove me out to Fenton, Foley Rd to complete this challenge. Rachel gave me the location to run it, she had already did it that morning.
My feet hit the dirt road from the truck and it felt like I had 10lb lead weights on both of them. I planned to walk until I saw Andy running it. "OHHH  My GOSH, THIS SUCKS!" I cried 30 feet behind Andy. Rain started to spit at us and a God forsaken head wind was a cruel punishment to add to my misery. I pulled my hat down and dug my heals in, barely jogging but moving a step faster than walking.
I thought the top of the incline was never going to come so when I finally reached it, out of breath, I threw my hands up like Rocky Balboa!

COLLISION: As I slowly climbed that mile everything hurt. The elements around me made me want to quit. Imperfect Progression. It didn't matter how I got to the top, I just had to get to the top.
It wasnt pretty, I was a big baby whining all the way up but determined.
This is exactly where I feel in life.
This Quarantined Life has been a struggle. Learning to communicate in a season we are all separated from most everyone but ourselves. And for me, being with myself too long is bad company.
I have to give myself a little grace and learn how to not just communicate with others, but also with myself. Moving forward hasn't been easy, the progression has had its struggles, but we have to keep moving forward.

 “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” ~ Anthony Robbins

Anita~

Quarantine Nugget:Confidence.

"Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this motion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us."

WHAT YOU THINK YOU BECOME

WON'T-0 % of happening

CAN'T- 10% of happening

I DON'T KNOW HOW- 20% chance of happening

I WISH I COULD- 30% chance of happening

I MIGHT - 40% chance of happening

I'LL TRY- 50% chance of happening

I WANT TO-60% chance of happening

I THINK I CAN- 70% chance of happening 

I CAN- 80% chance of happening 

I WILL - 90% chance of happening 

I DID- 100% 

Often times we get  Confidence confused with Arrogance. 

Confidence can come from a good place when expressed with humility and gratitiude 

True confidence actually comes from a humble heart. 

Don't mistake confidence for arrogance.

BUT

Don't mistake humility for weakness. 

"As a man thinketh so is he." 

I will never forget running my first marathon in Chicago. Feeling like a little fish in a big pond. All these athletes encircled me as we were corralled together waiting for the gun to go off. 

I had worked so hard and prayed even harder for this. I had a dream that I truly believed I was going to achieve. I was going to qualify for Boston. 

As I nervously waited in my corral, I stood there almost invisible. I had never ran a marathon. And I had never ran a race of this caliber. I was beginning to think I was out of my league. I was in a group all trying to qualify and as I listened to their stories I was feeling more and more inadequate. 

"What's your goal?"

"What marathons have you done?"

"Have you ever ran a marathon?' 

The pacers and runners were asking me these friendly questions. I could tell on their face and by their response they thought my head was in the clouds. I found myself shyly answering. 

When the National Anthem began to play the tears welled in my eyes. 

"Thank you Lord, thank you for bringing me here...Please Lord help me to qualify for Boston...." 

I felt so humbled but I felt so confident. 

My Confidence did NOT come from my abilities. My confidence came in my Faith in God and what HE would do in me. 

That day with scorching temperatures reaching beyond 90' and the only one left in that pacing group this girl qualified for Boston. 

For the non-athlete this still applies to you. 

Quarantine Nugget #2= Confidence

Right now more than ever we need CONFIDENCE. Not ARROGANCE. 

We need people to lead with Love. To set examples that are against the grain. 

We need confidence that seeks serving others and not themselves. 

We need confidence that can show the transparency of mistakes and still seek advice from others. 

We need confidence that does NOT have to prove to everyone their knowledge or skill. 

Today in this "Quarantined Life" fear is embodying so many of us. When I was standing amongst all these athletes, listening to their accolades fear began to creep in. I felt myself slowly fading away. 

I am watching this same fear slowing chipping away at people. 

Amazing people forgetting their value.

Incredible people getting lost in the Facebook frenzy. 

Strong people cowering to confusion. 

Get back in touch with yourself. Write out your fears and try to find ways to navigate yourself out of fear.

Rundown: 

Distance: 3:23 miles

Where: Sorenson. 

These days I include hiking/walking into my miles. We had a little window in the afternoon I was able to get out to have a fun. leisure walk in the woods. 

I am doing my first ever Run Streak. Everyday I have to get miles, run/walk or hike. 

Hiking is such a wonderful to just enjoy. 

“Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times.” – Martin Luther

ANITA~