9.-22.5: 0:30:49-6 min- 1/2 peanut butter. (did not drink Gatorade)
19.-47.5: 0:30:47- HR high last loop. Over heated. Sat for a few. no food
20.-50: 0:36:20- mashed potatoes, Vernors, Looks tired.
24.-60: 0:36:16-Danielle starts...
33.-82.5: 0:44:11-Longer break..real tired, stomach getting bad. ate mashed potatoes
" I shall sing of your strength; Yes, I shall joyfully sing of your lovingkindness in the morning, for you have been my stronghold, and my refuge in the day of my distress."
Psalms 59:16
You see it started many moons ago. It was a flame God sparked in me when I didn't know His plans for me. His plans for me all those years ago prepared for me in darkness, in brokenness, in pain, in chaos..but all of it had purpose.
In my Distress, it all had a purpose.
- I learned to have courage when the cause was so chaotic.
- I learned to persevere when my pain put me in pause.
- I learned to fight when fear buckled my knees.
- I learned to ignite when I wanted to ignore.
- I learned to rely on Him when I wanted to retaliate.
I never knew why I had to journey such hardship as a child. I never saw ANY good from the growing up in addiction and chaos.
I never saw any good in losing both parents at 18.
In my Distress...
God was doing a work. He gave me a gift. He healed me from that harsh and broken world.
- He strengthen me.
- He recovered me.
- He reframed my future.
- He lit a powerful flame in me that I would need later.
I learned to jump into the lions den with Faith not Fear.
I didn't understand "fight" in me 30 years ago. Truth is, it was like a super power that I had no control over and I didn't know how to use all that power properly.
- I used that power without purpose.
- I used it in my pain causing pain to others...
Twilight 24
"You don't need to understand your emotions. They are not always rational. But you do need to know how to manage them; That's your responsibility." Dr. Steve Peters.
Barely 30 miles in and I was already questioning my strength. I questioned EVERYTHING.
The humidity was tightening its grip around me. The air was so thick leaving my skin sticky and my lungs heaving.
I already felt so broken, my suffering was screaming at me louder than my 100 mile goal.
I have had God part the seas for me, I have witnessed the Lord quiet the storms that raged deep inside my soul, I have had Him move the mountains with power and might and every so tenderly wrap me in his wings and yet here I was withering away with uncertainty.
And just like that, without much effort I forgot about those miracles as I ran jaded in my current misery.
I had this dream, this desire, I trained, I prayed, I believed and now I crumbled in confusion and was quick to retreat.
He carried me in darkness, he breathed life into me when death lay its shadow over me, he restored my soul and put a new spirit in me.
And I was jaded in my pain unable to see Gods goodness.
And then...the text messages came in. Prayers over me, Gods promises reminding me to not give up.
"Fear not, He is with you and in you!"
My brother Facetiming me with love and encouragement all the way from Florida.
My sister in love Kim, sending me memes to "keep going" and verses reminding me "I can do all things.."
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| We all started together but we were all running different, it took 30 miles for us to all cross paths together on the trail! |
There is POWER in Prayer, there is strength in encouraging words we shower others with.
I had to be BRAVE. I came to fight for 100 miles in 24 hours. I had people who might not understand this crazy desire but their LOVE for me was selfless and gave me a second wind.
I was getting sick. The humidity was causing nausea. I made it to our crew tent and collapsed in the chair. My stomach was turning somewhere around 30 miles. I would suffer with nausea from then on.
It was a little after 8, Danielle, my pacer was full of excitement and I had my head between my knees crying "It hurts, it hurts so bad..." My stomach wretched and twisted as bile, spewed like poison between my shoes.
My belly convulsed, uncontrollable, and tears erupted as I questioned how long this would go on.
I had to go. I had to get back out there!
Deep breath. Pause. Let's GO! I had this one lap to get through and then Danielle would be with me!
Truth be told, I was holding pace, but I was stopping too much. I need Danielle to lead me.
Danielles longest run was with me at Higland Rec just a few weeks prior, around 14 miles.
Danielle would run and run surpassing that distance to pace me to my goal.
I wasn't much for conversation, I tried but my stomach was not making friends with me. She was gracious and gentle with me.
Runners were dropping left and right. The night was dark in the woods and it felt like full loops we hardly saw anyone. The aid station was still as lively at 2 am as it was at 2pm.
My watch said 84.5 miles, I had ran over 17 hours when we came into the aid station. Andy was wide awake still cheering me on. He came around to Danielle and I, and even in the dark, even in my fatigue and nausea I knew something was wrong.
"Anita, do you want the good news or the bad news?"
Without answering he continued. "Good news, you are in the lead, you are right now 1st place overall...but the bad news is you have to do the next 7 loops in 40 minutes, that is really tight if you are going to get 100 miles in, I just don't think you can...."
His voice was audible and yet trailed off from me as my mind began to race.
"Anita..your last few loops have been over 40 minutes..." He shared with me the exact time of each one and rather than get discouraged I interrupted him.
"I didn't run this race to place, I signed up to run 100 miles..."
" I don't care about the results. As long as you left it all out there, that's what matters."
Brad Stevens
In My Distress...
I shall sing of Your STRENGTH...
Danielle had ran over 20 miles and without any thought for herself, without many words, with just love and desire to help me reach my dream she dropped a gear!
My headlamp began losing battery, but I stayed close to her heals. I had 7 loops to do as we picked up our pace through the damp night.
We were swift, running the downhills in rhythm together. I clenched my fists asking God to strengthen my feeble body.
We ran all the way into the chute where Andy was waiting and SHOCKED, "NITA! You ran that loop in 28 minutes!!" knew we couldn't stop, as he tried to get me to eat, "no, no Andy, I have to keep going.."
We didn't stop. Danielle took off again leading in front of me. I couldn't say much but I could say "THANK YOU, Danielle".
She had exceeded more miles than either of us had expected. I was in completed awe of all she had given me.
Andy again was shocked as we came in at 31 minutes. This time Andy jumped in to help me as Danielle graciously disappeared into the dark.
He was able to pace me for 2 more laps at 34 minutes a piece. My feet were hurting, my belly was still funky, my skin had a sticky filth all over it and I was so tired.
As we finished up Andy confided, "Nita, you have exhausted all your pacers..." As he shared this we were over the mat and Lacey was there!
The sun had come up as 6am was upon us and I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I was so confused. I had no idea Lacey was coming out. I collapsed in my chair trying to understand what was happening.
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| This is what 98 miles look like, not so good! |
I was so upset, I had to run 2 more loops even though my watch had me at 100 on my next loop. The course was over and I was in pieces trying to wrap my head around all that was happening.
Lacey came to help me with this loop. I was so grateful but in such agony, I couldn't express anything.
We had to GOO if we were going to get 2 loops in before 8am.
We headed out of our tent and proceeded to the trail. Lacey never quit talking. She must have asked me a million questions. I was getting so mad at her for making me talk as my energy had melted away.
"Lacey, I'm not running another loop, my watch says 100, I AM DONE!"
I repeated this statement several times.
"No, you have time, you are running it..."
We bantered about it. We were running another solid loop under 40 minutes. As the minutes ticked by and we were closing in on the end of the loop I gained my confidence, I saw Gods faithfulness in the last 22 hours and knew I could do it!
The Final Hour.
When we approached the final loop so many people were awake and cheering me on. The aid station was hooting and hollering my name, "Anita, I knew she could do it..." I heard one of them say. I choked back my tears, they believed in me when I quit believing in myself.
Danielle and Andy were there at the tent with such love and encouragement. Sarah, part of our group had ran almost all night and was awake to watch my finish.
"Your Victory LAP NITA!" Andy cheered me on.
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| Danielle, thank YOU, from the bottom of my heart. |
It was the longest 2.5 miles of my life. I walked most of it. I talked to Jesus, I praised him, humbly reminded of HIS strength in ME.
I became very aware of my brokenness, my filth, my stench, my tender knees and sore feet and MY GOD.
My God who did a good work in me many moons ago.
My God who put a flame in my spirit, who gave me a CRAZY, RECKLESS, WILD, GIFT to Glorify HIM.
My God who uses every mile and every milestone for His Glory.
My God who just 2.5 years healed me from TNBC!
The Lord takes all I have, He empties me only SO HE can fill me with HIS Glory, His Power and His Strength.
I finished that last loop, walking most of it with humility and gratefulness.
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Back; Katy, Lacey, Sarah, Antonio
front: Danielle, me, Andy |
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| I won money!! 1st Place Overall and Most miles. |
Special THANK YOU to Move It Fitness, Geneva is such an amazing race Director. She never quit working, encouraging, smiling and cheering us runners on!
