Stealing my Thunder!

 

"Storms draw something out of us that calm seas don't." Bill Hybels 

I left my house before 7am to meet my running partners and it was already 80'. It was like running in soup the humidity was so thick. Training for a 24-hour race has me running a lot of miles back-to-back.

I figured if I left early enough, I would be able to get 20 miles in before the thunderstorms rolled up on me. 

I was able to get my 8 miles in with the girls without a rain drop. 

But OHH the skies opened up not 2 miles down the backroads.

The rain came down so hard I could hardly see. 

Lacey knew my route and told me she would get me if it got bad, but I was determined to get my 20 miles in. 

I heard thunder off in the distance, I had another 9 miles to go. The rain settled down, I kept moving, no more walk breaks. It was supposed to be an easy run, now I was trying to beat the storm. 

The thunder drew closer, louder and lightning began to light up the sky. I was no longer smelling the blooming lilacs or looking for deer on the backroads.

At 14 miles, the roads were flooding, there was not a dry patch on my body, the sky was angry and loud and I couldn't stop laughing. 

It was that crazy, slightly lunatic laugh.  I startled myself with how much joy I was experiencing in such disturbing weather. 

A warm smile of security resonated in my soul. The sky had darkened, I could see the clouds moving with lightning flashing through its shadows, it was magnificent. I was awestruck as my legs moved effortlessly through another mile. 

The temperatures dropped, my wet skin was chilled and invigorated. 

I spoke to my Lord. 

He controls the thunder and the rain and the safety of his daughter. 

So small, in the vastness of a great storm. I ran by the comfort and peace that God was protecting me from the harm that surrounded me.  

My phone started making all kinds of rings and dings. Lacey was texting, Andy was calling and I was only at mile 15. 

I was begging Andy to let me keep running. It was too late, both Lacey and Andy were driving through Holly looking for me. 

The sky CRACKED and the thunder now interrupted itself with another BOOM! 

I ran faster hoping I could run more until they found me. 

Mile 16, I was still unfound by them but never out of sight of God. 

I don't know why but I wasn't rattled as the storm raged. The cars sped pass me with their wipers on high. My eyes were stinging with rain but I just couldn't stop smiling. 

I was exhilarated. I felt such freedom, even in the middle of the storm I never wanted the feeling of freedom and peace to leave me. 

But as I approached my 17 I saw Andy spot me, he pull into the gas station madder than a wet hen at me. Rightfully so. 

The rain had slowed down, the thunder was silencing as I pleaded to keep running. The radar showed I had ran through the worst of it and it was now letting up. "Lacey is out here looking for you too!" 

I am a stubborn fool but as Andy looked one more time at the radar, he reluctantly let me keep running home in the softened storm. 

I didn't get far, I made it to almost 18 miles when Lacey found me, "HEY! I'll buy you a coffee if you get in..." 

I am a sucker for coffee. 

I smiled, sat my drenched body on some dry towels and confessed my ridiculous perseverance, my bold bullheadedness and my conviction for causing so much grief. Lacey was gentle, laughed, loved and drove me to Tim Hortons.  

I could have finished. But was it permissible? I had 2 people out looking for me in the midst of a stormy mess. Just because I had peace didn't mean others had peace. 

Everything we do has a trickle effect. I could see the pain I had caused in Andys eyes. He was worried for me. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 Phil. 4:6-7

I fell in love with todays storm for such a reminder of that unexplainable peace that passes all understanding.

I started my run with heavy shoulders, with a pack carrying more weight than the food and water it was designed for. I had packed it with burdens of anxiety, fear, insecurity, confusion, hurt, disappointment and other weights I had not named. These burdens were bulky and cumbersome, my load was heavy and I knew the only one that could unload it was my Jesus. I knew the storms of life spewed more than the storm circulating around me. 

He met me in the storm, he heard my prayers, he chased me down, held me safely in his arms and loved me when the storm softened with a gentleness that could only come from the heavens.  He encompassed me with a peace to calm the storm inside me, a peace that divided the fear of deafening thunder and blazing lightning. He removed the distraction of fear to invite me into his arms. It was there I took my burdens, in that quiet place, that restful place that I was blinded by all the physical storms and even the heavy storms in my heart loosened their grip and the weight softened. 

 

In Peace, not Pieces

Anita

Honey Child, caught in Somewhere

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

 Proverbs 16:24

 Here I am, feeling caught somewhere in the middle of someplace, drifting gently in the middle of something, not heavy to one side or another. 

Just somewhere in between. 

I don't quite fit in. 

In the churchy crowd I am not churchy enough. I can't recite, remember or recognize scriptures so eloquently. I don't have the Godly jargon down, I sit on the outside looking in. 

I stammer my words; I blunder my verses and my bible knowledge is somewhere in there but gets lost in translation. 

In the wild world of others, I am too churchy. My spiritual blunders not noticed but my passion and love for Jesus is noticed. My strength, my breath, my gratitude, my purpose all from the Lord is mayhem to many and hypocrisy in the faults of my imperfections. 

To the church I am not enough.

To the unchurched I am too much. 

Here I am somewhere in between. 

Somewhere in the middle of two whereabouts. 

Cautious of being "lukewarm".

God Forbid. 

Hush, sweet child, honey child, daughter of mine...shhh. 

I ran harder this morning. The sun beat hotter on my bare skin and I swallowed back that lump of emotions thick in my throat. 

My breath was loud as I struggled those first couple miles as my body warmed up. 

I prayed. I cried out to for security. I prayed my secret prayers that are hidden deep in my soul. I shared the thoughts of shame and sorrow seeking comfort. 

My convictions, my confusions, my Counselor please come and rescue me.  

As my run came to the end, the sweat on my brows felt like comfort. My breathing was now rhythmic, my heart was at peace and I smiled and softly laughed to myself thinking of God, calling down on me, "Honey Child....My sweet child....I am chasing after you, you will always fit in my arms." 

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

 Proverbs 16:24

In Peace, not Pieces,

Anita~