The Good, theBad and The Ugly

THE GOOD:

I got some new kicks! I even tried something new.....Glycerin. 

I had the best morning today.
Even though I was still a snotty mess, I was excited to run. I was even excited to suffer.
I was meeting Rachel at the track for some speed work.
We had the most perfect weather, making the suckfest more tolerable.
There is something to be said about putting in hard work and how it gives you this amazing endorphin high.
When I left the track I was smiling from ear to ear.

I was so hyped up that even after checking my email for my letter from the B.A.A a half dozen times I was chilling out.
Maintaining that endorphin high just drove me to Complete Runner to buy a pair of running shoes. I was in desperate need.
It was a great morning. It wasn't even noon!

THE BAD.

I found my first journal entry when my mom went into the hospital. "I am so alone." I read that and I felt like I went back in time. I still have moments like this. You never quit missing your parents. 

That is me in the middle. I look a whole lot more Irish with that auburn hair than I look Mexican!

Still in a great mood I headed home.
September 27th. Today was my Mothers birthday. She would be almost 80 years old.
I lost my mother 26 years ago.
There is NOT a day that doesn't go by I do not miss her and all her craziness.
I miss my mother.
I sat down on the carpet in the spare bedroom. I pulled out her old pictures and my old journals and had a good old fashion cry.
I took myself back to my yesterdays. I laughed through the tears remembering when she would do cartwheels around the yard in her 40's. Or when she would fall asleep with ice cream dripping down her mouth. I remember seeing her helplessly plugged into a machine, lifeless as my world crumbled around me in a split second. Gone. No goodbyes, No, I am sorry, No, I love you mother..
So I cried.
Then I got up, wiped my nose and smiled remembering how good God has taken care of me all these years. I was a nothing, a nobody, disregarded, I didn't stand a chance in Hell....But God saw more in me than I ever saw in myself. In my tears, I continue to LOVE, I have no bitterness for my past or my pain. God gave me a future, He prepared me, He directed me out of myself.

THE UGLY.

WELL....I am officially a REJECT!
Even though I qualified for Boston, I did NOT get accepted! 7 seconds! The field was so large this year they couldn't fit all those who qualified in.

"So far, 23,074 runners have been accepted into the 2019 race. That left 7,384 runners, out of 30,458 who applied, shut out of registration, even though they did achieve the posted standards." 

According to Runners World. For the full article Boston Marathon 2019 Cutoff

It's Ok.
I will still sleep at night and the sun will still rise in the morning.
Life is about disappointments. This is the first time I have ever gotten a rejection letter from the B.A.A.
I have been very blessed to not only qualify for Boston by I have ran it 3 times.
I just wanted to run it with Lacey.
They have changed the qualifying times, 5 minutes for each age group!
It's all good in the hood.
I am currently smiling even as I type this.
And it really is in Gods timing, not to get all cliché. But when I rest on that thought it helps me go in peace.

Anita~

The Short and Simple.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. "

Romans 8:25

Upon reading this verse today, I related it back to waiting patiently for a acceptance letter from the B.A.A.
However, this verse was not written anywhere close to the context of waiting for a personal email.
My brain has just been hijacked.

I keep checking my banking account, my  email, Facebook and the B.A.A. website for any kind of news. Seriously, I would take a few scraps of information but my plate is DRY. They are feeding us "2nd Weekers" nothing but fear.
They said by the end of the week, so is that like a Thursday? a Saturday?

Lacey and I have worked so hard to get in. Such a BIG DREAM for us both.
Like soo many others.
We just will continue to play the waiting game.

Rundown:
Where: Holdridge, West Loop and North loop
Distance: 6 miles
Andy and I had a date on the trails today. Andy has been killing it on the trails.
The last couple days I have been under the weather with a head cold.

My little ditty for running with a cold:
"If its in your head-Get out of Bed
 If its in your chest- Its best to rest.

My head is a cloudy, stuffy,snotty mess!
But I laced up and drove with Andy to Holdridge. I let Andy lead. A couple miles in Andy says "Nita, your not talking much..."
And I wasn't. I was just focusing on following Andy's line through the trails. My nose was running so much that I actually blew a snot rocket and felt it land on my left leg.
Andy kept a very constant pace. Even though I wasn't much for conversation I was quietly having so much fun.
I was watching Andys form. His routine the past few months has not only led him to dropping over 20lbs it has improved his running form.  I could actually hear my heavy breathing as I shadowed behind him.

The cooler temps made my misery less. The faster pace and silent run helped me to put my training in check.

• Tap tap tap
• Arms up
• Shoulders back
• Run with all your body, use your core
• Breath
• On your toes
• Look up

It was a great run. I am LOVING running less miles. I said it! 

Anita~

It's not a Nonscense.

"Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean its nonsense." Lemony Snicket

There are many things I don't understand, most of which I really don't even try to understand.
For instance, Why do I have to wait so long to find out if I got into the Boston Marathon?

I am trying to remain calm, almost apathetic. I am trying to locate this perfect balance that will still allow me HOPE but not too much hope that if I don't get in I am grieving and wearing black for the next 6 months.
Balance right?

I have heard no news. The only information I have heard is it will probably be at least Thursday for them to calculate numbers. It doesn't sound like they have a lot of numbers calculated to be accepted but I am trying to stay positive.

Positivity.

"Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean its nonsense." Lemony Snicket

Tomorrow, I will sit amongst a few hundred addicts, recovering and active along with friends and family members that love them. 

Addiction to many appears like "Nonsense". Many people do not understand addiction and many more believe they do understand it but scoff it. 

Addiction isn't just a illness, It is a PERSON. 

Addiction is someone's mother, father, someone's sibling, someone's child. 

Addiction has a FACE. 

Addiction has a heartbeat. 

Addiction has become a statistic, a headline, a study and another number. We have become so calloused we have taken the skin off addiction. 

Tomorrow, I will lovingly and excitedly sit in the middle of someone's story. I will see their pain, hear their tragedy and love them for their heartbeat.  

We have so many differences circulating around us. Different isn't always wrong. 

Perceptions, opinions, ideas are so individual. 

It is remembering that even if we don't understand or agree with something doesn't mean it is nonsense. 

Be kind. Be respectful. Don't allow your ego to examine others or their ideas. 

This is just another area I try to work on for myself. 

Anita~

Boston 2013. The year of the Bombings, 20 minutes prior. 

Rundown: 

Where: Holdridge

Distance: 5 miles

Tomorrow is the BIG Day.

I am trying really hard to remain positive. NOT soo positive that I am disappointed and grieving if the news comes back short.
Tomorrow I find out if I got into BOSTON.
Lacey is convinced that we did not get in. She is basing this on her bank statement.
This year is EXTREMLY tight. tighter than previous years.

B.A.A "All of us at the Boston Athletic Association are honored by the supreme interest in registering for next year's Boston Marathon. Unfortunately, we will not be able to accept all qualifiers who submitted entries due to field size limitations...….Please note that due to the increased interest in the 2019 race, we will only be able to accept a small portion of Week Two applicants."

Yeah, I am week two. I only have 4min 50sec cushion. The saddest part ISN'T that I won't be running Boston 2019, I have been very blessed to have ran Boston 3 times, the saddest part is that I wont be able to run with Lacey. This was always a dream of ours. 

This text conversation still has me laughing. Maybe Lacey is right...But I am staying POSITIVE. 

And it we are going to find another Epic Race! 

To add to my Marathon news. 
Something very tragic happened a couple weeks ago. I am NOT running Marine Corp Marathon this October. 
I was so excited to run this race with both my brother and sister in law this October. Another dream of mine.
Tragically, they were in a boating accident. My brother lives in Stuart, Florida. The two of them were boating like any other Sunday afternoon on the ocean. They hit a wave no different then they have hit one many many times before, however, this time it was different. Leeanne came out of her seat and landed back into her seat wrong, breaking her L2.
This was my sister in laws FIRST Marathon. She was so excited that week completing 18 miles.
Leeanne and Bobby deferred their registration and I joined them.
I had planned that with them. I just couldn't go out there without them.
We will revisit it all again next year. Until then I am praying for my sister in law to have a good recovery and heal strong.

DETROIT Marathon T-4 weeks. 

I have been wrapping my head this week on my next race. Detroit Free press Marathon in October. 
Two weeks out from Woodstock I have really taken my recovery serious. The first week, I only hiked, 6.8 miles. And ran once on the trails with Andy taking each loop slow for 8 miles.
This week I ran:
Monday: 8 miles
Wednesday: 6 miles
Thursday:  8 miles
Sunday, Today: 20 miles
Total Miles: 42 miles total.

"Nothing is intolerable that is necessary. Jeremy Taylor
Most things are easier said than done.
However, nothing is too hard if it must be done.
The show must go one. I have a road race in 4 weeks. I could just take the easy route and coast into Detroit knowing I just came off a 100k or I can suck it up, grind it out and get my head back in the game getting it done.
Today was my first official training run. I didn't know what my legs would do. But I did know I took two weeks and recovered. Easy runs, good eating habits. One run I even cut short in hopes it would help my long run today be stronger. 
I knew it was going to be hard. Or at least I had convinced myself. 

Lacey and drove out to Lake Orion to run the Paint Creek trail for 20 miles.
Without a cloud in the sky we headed down the flat, scenic trail... along with half of Oakland County!

We took off slower for a out and back.
My body felt so fresh. I was chatting it up sharing a movie we rented last night without any heavy breathing or fatigue.

Not only does the Paint Creek Trail have nice bathrooms, they also have water bottle filling stations!
When we made the turn around at mile 10, I still felt great, even better. I picked our pace up. Lacey began to make lil comments, "Soo did that recovery make you ready to run.." She then began to add 30second walk breaks laughing at our running pace. "Anita, your the one pushing the pace."
We were running great but added walk breaks to keep our pace down. We both felt great.
Each mile we maintained made me want to finish strong.
Towards the end I was beginning to feel it. But with just a couple miles to go I knew it wasn't "Intolerable" I knew that I could finish it out.
SMILES all across the board when we hit the STOP button.
The best part about a good running partner, they hold you accountable, helping to design a plan and execute it. We finished our run feeling more confident for Detroit.

" Holly" this week told Lacey that Paint Creek trail was Up Hill coming back from Rochester. Lacey say "..don't tell me that...." And there you have it, she was SOO right! 

Next week...22 miles.

Here is to staying Positive and Praying.

Anita~

WoodStock recap and RECOVERY

The following day after running Woodstock 100k I boarded a plane to Lake Tahoe. 

My Friday 4pm start time to race over 66 miles started a 10 day whirlwind. 

Finally, I am gathering my thoughts on last weeks race, more like 10 days ago now, I am hoping I can remember enough to bore you with. 

WOODSTOCK 100k

When: Friday, Sept. 7th, 4pm.

Distance: 66 miles...LONNNG 100k!

Elevation: 4725

Where: Hell Creek Ranch, Pinckney, Mi. 

Goal:14-15 hours

With a afternoon starting time of 4pm, I really didn't head to the starting line with a lot of butterflies. 

The loudest voice in my head was really the sound of curiosity. 

I had a plan most all summer of how I was going to run Woodstock. The week of the race all the way to the morning of the race my plan began to dissolve. Unfortunately, I really didn't have training to confidently change my racing strategy due to how I trained all summer. I put the miles in but I didn't put any speedwork in my training to run stronger than my goal. Even my goal was going to be work for me. (Free commercial...always set your goals high)

THE 100K IS 4- 16 .66 MILE loops. 

LOOP 1: Day Light & Bees

I headed into my corral with all the 100milers and 100K runners. I stayed close to Kris hoping to run with her. Kris was under the weather during the week and was hoping to pace her friend, this left me curious to what my first loop would be like. 

I stayed with them for about 2 miles, I could hear them chatting behind me and decided I would just head out and run my own race. I haven't done this in a long time. I really didn't know what to expect. 

I took the next couple miles praying and constructing a plan. 

In typical Anita fashion, I hollered coming into the aid stations, made friends and paced my every mile. 

For the first loop, I wanted to maintain a 12-13 min mile. In order to do this I would need to stay focused and cruise in and out of the aid stations. 

Somewhere around mile 12, I was running with this gal, "Sass" when I felt this terrible burning sensation on my wrist, then my arm, my leg, my neck...

"Sass" was telling me a story and I was behind her swatting what felt like Tracker Jackers burning my skin up. I could hear the BUZZING around me but I couldn't locate the little demons stinging me. 

Finally I screamed "OUCH, I am Gettting STUNG...."  I looked down on my burning wrist and a hornet was attached to my skin with a death grip. 

I tried to remain calm especially because "Sass" didn't even skip a beat and looked at me like I was crazy. I tried to be "Tough" but I was secretly freaking out. 

It took a couple miles for me to assess the damage and relax. My wrist instantly swelled up while the rest of my stings were on fire. 

With a couple miles to go, "SASS" and I kept a good pace. I was excited that it was still going to be light out when we finished our first loop. 

Sass was full of energy and racing her 100 miles. I just tucked in behind her as we came into the START/FINISH line aid station completing our first loop. Soo hyped I didn't pay attention to the fact that I ran right through the aid station and back towards the trail. 

I saw "Holly" a friend of mine at the end of the path as I was making my way BACK into the trail, this final distraction was the deciding factor to keep moving forward. 

Loop: 3H14min

LOOP 2: Into the Darkness

I wanted as much daylight as I could have to both run my strongest as well as not have my headlamp on.

As soon as I headed into the trail I texted Andy. He asked who I was running with. "I am running solo" I responded. Out of nowhere came these voices with a heavy Hispanic accent "You are NOT alone! We are right behind YOU!" 

Startled, I looked behind me and there were 3 jolly Mexican guys just a few yards behind me. 

We gabbed for a couple miles but I could hear their breathing labored and knew they would be soon falling back and I would be running into the evening alone.

I wasn't really that nervous about running in the dark by myself. Woodstock is not a real technical race. It has a combination of rail trails, backroads and trails with aid stations every 4-5 miles. 

The darkness slowly encapsulated me forcing me to pull out my head lamp. 

I felt great and wasn't too annoyed with myself, all I had to listen to was my inner voice. I found myself talking out loud and giggled at my single conversation. 

I hit the Gracie Aid station with my routine "MARCOOO" laughing and ready to snack on something salty. I had about 10 miles to go to get back to the START/FINISH and complete my second loop. Munching on some olives, the salt was soo good, I looked up and to my surprise I saw Matt and Paula. I was SHOCKED that I caught up to the speedy couple. 

After running by myself for those couple hours, I was excited to see a familiar face. As they headed out I quickly followed, hoping I could keep up and not burn myself out. 

They were running right where I had planned. 

We finished the loop together and I was still feeling good and on schedule. 

Loop: : 3h27min

Loop 3: The Tortoise

One of my biggest concerns was that I wouldn't be able to pace myself properly.
I was hoping I would be able to keep my legs fresh, not burning them out, making me suffer more than I had to the final loop.  I was planning on running each loop 15-30 minutes slower depending on how I felt. 

Paula set the pace and it was perfect. She ran through the woods strong and steady. Just when I was getting concerned with my abilities we would come into an aid station or we would be walking down the backroads. The backroads were so flat it actually hurt to run. We walked a lot of the flats. The walking was great for recovery, however it was not great for keeping my body tempertures up.
I found myself getting cold. The nighttime air was a clammy 58'. I was running in a heavier running skirt, tank top and a vest. I didn't add any layers because I knew the temps would be staying there.

One of the issues I was struggling with was nausea. My headlamp threw off shadows that made me dizzy. This made my stomach flip.
When I get nauseaous I do NOT want to eat or drink. I learned very early on in my ultra running career you do the very thing you do NOT want to do if you want to finish successful.

• If you feel good in the beginning...DON'T run faster. 
• If your not thirsty, DRINK anyway. 
• If your stomach is quirky and you haven't eaten...EAT!

You really have to run with your brains. Every aid station I would ask for a cup of ice. This settled my belly and hydrated me. I literally ran with a cup of ice in my hand for miles. Eating on a upset tummy is a little more tricky. The aid stations have such a variety of food you can find something. I grabbed plain Pringles, soup, ramen, and PIZZA! It took everything in me to get it down but I made sure I tried to swallow most of it. (I ate these items at different stations, not all at once!)

Little things were beginning to irritate me as we finished up our loop. My hydration vest felt like a straight jacket, my head felt like it was being squeezed from the headlamp. My headlamp was actually dimming making me strain to see in front of me. Even my running skirt felt too tight as it was cutting into my hips. 

"One more loop...just get to through..." 

LOOP 4: 4h:18min

LOOP 4: Horses to the Barn.

We came into the START/FINISH aid station close to 3am. I was pooping out. I went to my drop bag, grabbed some MORE Motrin, retrieved my batteries for both Paula and my headlamps and headed back to eat. I drank some coffee for energy and tried to get some soup down.  Vegetable soup, BARF in my MOUTH. I wondered if I swallowed what tasted like barf would it be the same as barfing.  I FORCED myself to gulp most of it down but found my ice cubes more edible. 

We headed back out after about 10 minutes in the aid station.

I wanted to be DONE. I felt good and was ready to finish it up. This is when the excitement of finishing motivates you to wake up and GO.

We were running the trails but walking the rail trail. I was freezing. After almost 3 miles into our last loop, I slowly separated and found myself on the trails alone again.

My Garmin began chirping at me letting me know she was about to die. I really needed her to help me get through most of this last loop. 

My Garmin is like a silent running partner. I would look down, see my pace, my time and run accordingly. Running the numbers helped me get from mile to mile. I am NOT good at math so trying to extrapolate and compute numbers is a great way to waste time for me and keep me distracted. 

It was funny all the runners out there and yet the woods were so quiet. I saw a few frogs but that was it for wildlife.  

My Garmin made it to mile 59. I knew The course was NOT a true 100k, 62 miles. Each loop is 16.66 miles X's 4 puts the course at almost 67 miles. 

Surprisingly I felt great. My body had no aches. At the aid stations I would ask what time it was. 

I would be finishing up as the sun came up. The thought of LIGHT made me smile. 

I was happy with how I had been running. My body felt exactly how I had hope it would. I found myself maintaining my pace and running slower but more steady. 

Each mile I finished, the more anxious I got. The sky slowly lighting up made me crave the finish line. 

With 4 miles to go, out of NOWHERE my right knee began aching. My hips were irritating me a little bit but this was significant PAIN. 

My legs wanted to move, my lungs were even fresh, full of energy, however, my knee was DONE. 

I normally fly down the hills. I looked like a drunken sailor hobbling down trying not to put any weight on my right knee. 

With less than 2 miles to go, this little horsey ran on. 

Even though I had came through this last section 3 times, as I came up, made a slight turn and saw the trail opening up into the camp ground my eyes welled up. 

I was DONE, Home Stretch. Ignoring my throbbing knee, I picked up my pace, let my grateful tears roll and smiled through the camp. With both my hands in the air I came though overally excited. I MISSED the finish! Spectators motioned me BACK, cracking up at myself I made a smooth turn back up then back down to the right under the Finishers Bridge. 

LOOP 4: 4h11min

Finished: The Other Side of Impossible

In the beginning of my race I was running in between about 8 runners. I shared a quote that I like, "Most people quit and don't even realize they have a second wind." 

Then everyone started sharing inspirational quotes.

My favorite was from "BOB", " The Other Side of Impossible is the Best feeling in the World." 

"Impossible" isn't always they BIG victories, sometimes "Impossible" is the little victories that it took.

FINISH TIME: 15H:14MIN

OVERALL: 12/75

GENDER: 4/31

AGE GROUP: 1/6

I might have ran a little over my goal, but I was SOO stoked with my results.  I ran hard, I ran smart and I had FUN! 

This and That:

A BIG congrats to all my friends that ran, Paula, Matt, Kris, and those I am forgetting. Congrats to my friends who drank the Kool aid running their FIRST 50K, Chris and Doug. And Claudia rocking out a killer 50k. All of us ran and PR-ed!  We all got age group awards, I was really proud of my friends.
Great job to Justin, running the half marathon. 

Also, a BIG THANK you to "HOLLY". This is Brads girlfriend. When I came into the finish line I was a Happy Mess! I was alone, it was early and I could barely walk. Holly never quit nursing me. She was an angel. 

It was great to see, David St . Germaine out there, Joe Burns and I was excited to see Christina Bray pacing. 

Andy couldn't make it out but was so encouraging. He texted me often. It was very nice to chat with him when I was alone. He is always so good at keeping me focused. A big thank you to him for tolerating all my nighttime texting. 

Anita~

RECOVERY...Lake Tahoe! 

Tahoe Rim Trail

1300ft of elevation

total elevation; 7,777

BEAUTIFUL

WoodStock 100k T- 3 days

Somedays you got it and some days you don't!

Todays run...Was not so pretty. I was talking myself out of it before I even ran 3 of my 16 miles.

I was miserable. My mind was a big Debbie Downer. The heat was already stifling, like I was running in a burning inferno.
My thick latin  eyebrows could be rung out I had so much sweat pooling in them. Oh, and my pony tail was now a matted mess slapping me like a wet towel on my neck.

Everything felt GROSS. My shorts were sticking in places things should not stick and I smelled like things that did not have a heartbeat.

I called it in. Yep! I hit my Garmin at 14 miles, 2 miles short of 16 and pretty much walked/jogged the last 2 miles back to the parking lot.

I somehow managed 14 miles at a 9:30min/mi. This was a total suckfest.
And my 2 mile recovery even shocked me at a 11:29 min mile, I walked most of the time.

This weeks agenda:
Tuesday: Work, double booked. Then my meeting at 6:30-9.

Wednesday: Off. Massage. Prepare for Woodstock. Run a little...Very little, maybe even walk a little. 

Thursday: Work 4-9
FRIDAY: WOODSTOCK! 100K STARTS AT 4PM. I will be running through the night. I am hoping I will finish my 62 miles in 14 hours. This is a 14min/mi.
The night running is where I am being conservative.

Taper Time. I have cut my miles back, Last Thursday was my last longish trail run.

My tribe: Team Squishy Toes. We had a great turn out. 

Last week we also had our last night run, running 22 miles on the back roads.

Team Squishy toes ROCKS!

But today, the sufferfest was real, I smiled during walk breaks and enjoyed all the familiar faces out at Indian Springs.
I reminded myself, "I'm tapering, I don't have to work this hard."


This week has been busy. My son went back to collage last week. Austin came home this weekend. It was really nice.
It felt so good to laugh with him. To see him proud of himself again. He had a really hard summer, I had a really hard summer.
Nothing hurts more than seeing your kids hurt.

REASON 1643 Why I Run so GOSH darn Much....So I don't cry all the time!
Parenting is NOT for the weak.


Collision: Funny I helped endorse a book called Collision just recently, and that is what I call my little devo in my blog.
I loved this verse on FAILURE in Jessica Bishops book,
"Say to them, 'This is what the Lord says: 'when people fall down, do they not get up? When turns away, do they not return?" Jeremiah 8:4

This verse reminded me that just because I might not have ran as planned, I am not quitting in the BIG picture. I didn't quit at 14, I slowed down and finished all 16. I returned and did the best I could.

Sometimes plans change. That's ok, Get back up and try again.
Anita~