New Eyes

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

Eleanor Roosevelt

A new day, a new start, a new beginning and New Eyes to look unto my day.

I LOVE new Beginnings. Even for a Monday I was ready to dance. I was smiling, I was excited to move on and move forward.

I was so excited I totally forgot to eat breakfast AGAIN before my run.

I sent out a text to Danielle last Wednesday to see if she might want to join me for a run out at Kensington.
She responded with exclamation marks and smiley faces.

Bruno Rd Barn

We were meeting at 8:25.
AIRHEAD ANITA move #654
My driving went on autopilot. I should have gotten on Hickory Ridge Rd. But I didn't. I was smiling all the way to Fenton. I do not remember driving to Tim Hortons! True Story. I sat in the parking lot confused and wanting coffee! I had to backtrack 8 miles. I was still smiling, I LOVE TIM HORTON'S coffee and it really showed this morning!

I actually arrived at 8:35.
It was so nice to see Danielle. My calves were still sore from yesterdays run. I was hoping they would loosen up once we started.
The first couple miles we ran moderate. But then I don't know what happened. The more we chatted the faster we got. By mile 5, I was not so chatty. The hills were kicking my butt. Danielle was pummeling through them. I was out of breath, and could hear my heavy breathing. I thought to myself "This is training you big baby, suck it up."
That didn't make the pain go away. But for a brief second it did take the edge off.
My right calf kept tightening up on me. I have NO idea why. Then it went into my booty. Then my hamstring started hurting.
"Crap, this is training, run you big baby."
I looked at Danielle, the BACK of Danielle and stayed close.
It is such a LOVE/HATE relationship. You love the pain, because it is progress, But you hate the pain because it HURTS.
My fingertips were frozen but my legs were still moving. That last mile my legs joined my fingers, they were numb. Numb from fatigue not the cold.
We discussed walking up the last incline to Farmstead, where we parked. But nope, we didn't even slow down, we sped UP running in the last mile at a 8:25min/mi.

This goat was getting friendly with Danielle and I.

RUNDOWN:
Distance: 9 miles
Pace: 8:44/mi
I was shocked with our pace considering we took 3- 20second walk breaks to stretch my stupid calves out.
This evening I will stretch, roll, a jillion crunches, planks  and some squats.

DIET:
Other than forgetting breakfast,  I did eat well from that point.
Breakfast: 1/2 a bran muffin Tim Hortons, I went back on my way home.
Lunch: smoked salmon, cheese and pears
Dinner: Pulled pork, banana bread with fresh fruit.
( I put my apron on this afternoon. I boiled a dozen eggs. I made Banana bread, Pulled pork, and a Quiche.) Meal prepping for a busy week.

Tea Time: Stash Lemon Ginger, with honey.


MUSIC:
I love MUSIC, This weeks running downloads:

• Good Time Good Life: Erin Bowman
• Make me (Cry) :Noah Cyrus feat. Labrinth
• Family Affair: Mary J Blige
• Without You: Oh Wonder

I wish I could claim the idea of "New Eyes". But I stole it from a friend. Sometimes it is the simplest mantra that has the most impact.

Its changing your paradigm of thinking, but it has to start with being willing to look at things differently. It doesn't dismiss the circumstances, it just gives you a different outlook on them and who you are in the midst of life.

Anita~

Dizzy.

Last week, at one of my sons basketball games I got distracted. We usually sit in the middle upper bleachers. These are good seats to see the entire gym area.
A man was facing in our direction with a black and bright yellow shirt. It appeared to be a tech shirt. The black shirt was colored in yellow swirls. The yellow design with the contrast against the black was shocking, even mesmerizing.  Mom pointed to the shirt and said "His shirt is making me dizzy."
It did.
I couldn't stop staring at it. I was so distracted, confused, almost ensnared by the pattern on his shirt.
Even though it left me dizzy, I couldn't stop gazing into it.

This week I got some upsetting news I am not going to discuss. But it reminded me of this shirt.
Saturday I tried to work, but I was so distracted. I was upset, baffled, completely thrown off balance.
I had a client I asked 3 times what she was doing over the weekend. I couldn't tell you what she said. The third time, I knew she knew I wasn't with the program.

I was ensnared by the news I had received. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Even though it made me sick, even though I was holding back the tears,  it had a hold on me. I was distracted and dizzy with confusion.

I was so looking forward to seeing Lacey today. I needed her for more than running. I needed a friend to help remove this spell from me.
She is such a good friend. She is very good at illustrating all sides of the spectrum. It almost makes me dizzier. SO much more to think about. We ran for more about 2 hours, I can't say I felt a lot better. I even apologized for not being much for energy. Ultimately, I did feel better, I felt better than how really terrible I felt. I still felt terrible, just not AS terrible.

Barn outside of Indian Springs

"He gives power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increase in strength."

Isaiah 40:29

Rundown:
Indian Springs Metropark
Week 5 Glass City Marathon
Distance: 13.1m
Time: 1:58
Pace: 9:04

I forgot to shut off my watch after 13M. But I was STOKED at how good our Splits were, within 17 seconds!

27' degrees out. I always over dress. I HATE being cold. Lacey did NOT want to run the back loop multiple times. It literally angered her the thought of going around and around. We ran every road through the park, she even had us running through the parking lot and playground.
I didn't want to run today. If it wasn't for Lacey, I wouldn't have. I was exhausted, I slept terrible and was haunted by a never ending nightmare.
We knocked out the first 5 miles without hardly realizing it. But the next 8 miles were a battle for me. My calves were tight and each mile, they were getting angrier. Just one mile at a time. I made it my job to try and focus on our pace. 9-9:15.
It didn't take the suck factor away. It was just one of those runs, But I couldn't have done it without Lacey. I wouldn't have.

Week 5 Training Selfie

A little piece of me

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

At times when I am hurt, confused or overwhelmed, I think of my mom in her addiction.

I want the hurt to go away in a instant. I don't want to feel the weight consuming me. I feel betrayed. I can't control my thoughts, my heart, my mind is complete chaos, all I want to do is be numb.

It is times like this I wish I could hold my mom and tell her how sorry I am for her suffering. I wish I could wrap my arms around her and tell her she is amazing, she is beautiful, she is forgiven, she is LOVED. She is not the mistakes she made, she is not her yesterdays, she is not her pain.

I want what she took, what she was enslaved to BUT I know I can't. Peace does not come in a bottle or a Zig Zag wrapper, in a pill or in another person, Peace comes from The Lord, I have to feel every prick of pain. The only way to get through it is to get through it.

It hurts to hurt.

If you add confusion to the mix it is a horrible cocktail.

So I will do the little things, go for a run, PRAY, heat the kettle and make a warm cup of orange tea and honey.

Always remembering God has a plan for everything. I need to trust in HIM.

Anita~

Running Field Trip.

Clover Beach. A+K+K =Anita, Kris and Ken. Ken is such a softy!

Trail running today was not for the runner wanting to enjoy some miles, a decent pace or a run with without ton of mud.

I asked who wanted to run double digits last night when we all touched base.
Ken, Kris, Rachel and I decided we were not going to even attempt to run on trails. While mud slinging at one another on Monday was amusing, our run was a lot of work.
Today we opted for back roads closer to Kris and Ken in Linden.
Rachel hurt her back and played it safe at home and was not able to join this morning.

We met at Clover Beach in Fenton.
A mile into our run Kris asked Ken how far he wanted to go.
Ken responded "I dont't know, like 2 hours or whatever you guys like...."
I swallowed hard. I was thinking like 10, 11 miles...He was talking  more like 13, 14 miles.
I tried not to show my concern. I didn't bring water, any chews and I forgot to eat breakfast.
To kick it up a notch, Kris picked one of her favorite "HILLY ROUTES"
Yep, I was doomed. Dead MEAT!

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come?" Psalm 121:1        

HIlls were NO JOKE. I thought of Lacey. She keeps reminding me I have work hard.
Marathon training you RUN THE HILLS.
Ultra Training you WALK THE HILLS.

You know the hills you are running are beasts when they are named.
We named the massive incline on Whittaker Rd "The WIDOW MAKER" a couple years ago. There is a light at the top of the hill. I never take my eyes off it. The closer I get, the stronger I get. I find myself determined to get to the light. My hands are clutched in little fists as I stubbornly drive into the hill.

I had no idea where Kris was taking us. I knew we were in Linden, somewhere. Then the hills started attacking us one at a time. They never ended.
Ken for an old guy is solid. He has ran more Ultras than I have had birthdays. I was determined to stay on his heels. I would get behind him when he barreled down the downhills. I would focus on his bare legs and try to plant my feet every where he was. I never looked at my watch, and I never let him get too far ahead of me. It hurt, my quads were burning but I wasn't going to let him get the best of me.

The scenery for a dreary day was overloaded with potential. I found beauty in the potential, stopping to enjoy a creek cut in the middle of a field. Ken hushed me at one point. "Funny Ken, I haven't seen any deer in weeks..." He replied.."AHH,,GEE I wonder why..." teasing me about how loud I am. But it was not to far from that point, we came unto about 30 turkeys. SOO cool!

Ore Creek Farm

Group  HUG!

We stumbled on some incredible historic barns. Ken was giving us architecture lessons on some of the Centennial Farm homes.

Lyonheart Farms

Time was moving fast. We did a loop, somewhere, in Linden and we were heading back in. I realized where we were real fast when we were hitting the hills for the second time.
"Maintain Anita.." No matter what I was not going to stop. Lacey was in my head. "GET UP THE HILL, HEAD Up, Stay stong." I was screaming at myself.
STAY STRONG.
It hurt, everything hurt. I was so thirsty, My gum was no longer minty, and my stomach was growling. I was praying, asking God to give me any pain but please don't let my sugar drop.

Kris is very consistent. She never shows pain. Ken, he was trying to bury me. He was hitting the pavement turning his feet over like a stinking Ethiopian.
He was warmed up and taking the lead.
I wondered how long he was going to hold his pace. I wondered how long I was going to be able to stay with him. Till I collapse.
Ken shared his Gatorade with me, this really perked me up.

By about 11 miles, Ken was slowing up but I was holding on. The ball was rolling.
"MAINTAIN Anita". I would swing back around and pick them up but I was keeping my momentum.

I honestly felt like crying. I was humbled by the strength God had given me to get through all this elevation. The hills kept coming. My back was still straight, My eyes were focused, My legs were sore but moving in perfect form. I was out of breath, everything in me was screaming, And so was total gratitude.

I recognized where we were at, only I was shocked when I saw the parking lot where our vehicles were parked.
WE were DONE! My distance was off by almost a mile. I paused my Garmin to look at something and forgot to restart it. This is a typical AIRHEAD Anita move.

Rundown:
Distance: 14.7
13.7 we ran, then we walked a cool down around the Beach.
Time: 2:32:
Pace: 10:20/mi

My pace had us at 9:33/mi because I turned my Garmin off at the cool down. The above time and distance if from Kris's Garmin.

Our Elevation!

Such a great run. The three of us are all running Hennepin in October. Todays run exemplified  what great dynamics the 3 of us have. I am so excited.

SPEAKING of HENNEPIN..BIG NEWS...
Lacey announced to me last week she is going on vacation with her husband that week. They are going to Chicago. And on her way there she is going to take a little pit stop to PACE ME!!!!
YES! She shocked me, surprised me, and BLESSED me.
Could this get ANY BETTER? 100 miles with my TRIBE!

Anita~

Heathen. Mental Mess

I was sitting at the kitchen table making ham and cheese sandwiches when my phone went off. "Who is texting me at 6:10 in the morning." I thought.
It is never a good thing to have messages or phone calls that early.
It was Jeff, bailing on me.

I was up and at it, my clothes were laid out and my gym bag was by the front door, but I had no motivation to go, I had no motivation to anything. I suddenly wanted to go back to bed.

Before the thought turned to action I quickly sent out a distress call to Ken asking if he would meet me.
But he wasn't biting either.

Just when I was about to give up and succumb to the idea I was going solo, Claudia invited me to run with her!

I met Claudia and MaryAnn at 11AM at Indian Springs for 8 miles.

It was great. After we finished I looked at the time. I had to pick up my nephew to babysit at 1pm. I had a little extra time. I looked at the bare sledding hill. "HEY girls, wanna run up the hill?"
After a slight pause, we were all running up together. MaryAnn somehow convinced us to run down the other side and back up again.
Before our lungs realized they were burning we all were smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was asked to attend the young ladies small group at church. The leader thought I would have some wisdom to share with the young ladies. They were studying Titus 2:3-5. It discusses the older woman in the church teaching the younger ones.
I was definitely the older woman this evening.

I showed up modestly dressed, more modest than usual.  I studied the verses. I struggled in my mid January emotional mess. I felt unequipped.

Before I left I sent this selFie to Andy to ask his opinion of my attire. I like to get his thoughts. Simple. I did add lip gloss. A girl cant go out without lips gloss unless your RUNNING!

Then my emotions were confirmed when I turned on my truck and the song "HEATHENS" was on the radio. Seriously, I know the song is overplayed but what were the odds.
And I was convicted even more with this secular music coming out of my speakers. I needed some Casting Crowns, some Jeremy Camp, or my favorite, David Crowder.

Too many dreary days. It is messing with me. The chatter in my head is louder. My mind is a battlefield. My focus is off, I am really struggling with me.

The group was great. The girls were very sweet. It was exactly what I needed.

Something else I Need...I need some sunshine. I am a MESS.
A few things that make me smile in Gloomy Weather:

• My boys smiling at me right before they ask me for something.
• Chocolate, preferable dark chocolate..and a delicate truffle, I am puddy.
• Hot tea, I have a cup almost every afternoon or evening, it relaxes me.
• Fuzzy Blankets.

My computer is dying...Nite

Anita

Mud Boggin

The trails this morning were a thick slippery sludge of a mess. It was a so much fun.
I found myself giggling every time I slipped or tripped. I even squealed when I found myself on all fours in the mud. I have no idea how I even ended up staring into the mud, but I did and it was funny. I bounced up quick, I accessed my body and thanked the mud for softening my fall.  The mud was splashing and sticking to the bottoms of our shoes.

We ran the Wilderness trail 2 times. The moisture in the air was heavy. Rain started trickling in. My pony tail by the end of the 2nd loop was a massive rats nest. My hair had swollen 5 times its size bulging out of the pony tail holder.
My gloves were soaking wet and my hat was useless. The brim on my hat was messing with my vision of the trail.  So when we finished the second loop I ditched my hat and my sopping wet gloves.

I had about 12 miles in from that point. In between loops we came back to our vehicles. This added more mileage.

Then we headed over to the Lakeshore Loop for another 2.5 miles. This is my favorite loop.
The mud around the lake was not as deep or sloppy. It was still slick but more of a clay texture.
Every time I run this loop I see something new. Unfortunately, I put my phone in my truck with concern the drizzle and moisture would hurt it. The snow had all melted leaving almost everything brown. Bright green, almost neon moss glowed on the logs. The contrast in color was stunning.
But you will have to take my word for it, because I have no pics!

RUNDOWN;
Distance: 14.5ish..I forgot to start my Garmin when we started. Then I forgot to unpause it when we hit one of the loops. AIRHEAD. 

A great run and a better recovery snack. Normally, I will enjoy a apple, peppers or a clementine. But this afternoon, I enjoyed a Truffle. Dark chocolate. Just talking about it makes me want another.

Enjoy the little things when you finish doing the Big things.
Anita~

Can you say your ABC'S?

Sunday RUNDAY!
WEEK 4 of Glass City Marathon Training.
Lacey had the brilliant idea to run at Indian Springs and dodge the mudfest on the back roads.
This was an even better idea when I had to put my truck in 4wheel drive to get to her house. My truck looks like a massive TURD.

Indian Springs was busy busy. I purchased my yearly pass, 35$ to add to my State park pass. I will get my moneys worth between the two. All the trails make running way more exciting then the backroads and sidewalks.

I was not feeling good all day. My belly felt like I was 6 months pregnant and my head was throbbing. The long run is not the run to skip. No matter what you just pull up your big girl pants and get your groove on.

THE GOAL:
Because Lacey and I are trying to qualify for Boston, together we are very serious about out longs runs.
Todays long run was 14 miles. That is 3 loops at the back of the park compared to 2.
We wanted to maintain a 9:15-9:30 pace.

THE RUN: Longs runs require you to run LSD..LONG SLOW DISTANCE.
Both of us have Garmins that help to manage our pace.
One of the ways you will know if you are running at a good pace is being able to carry on a conversation.
Lacey and I really don't have a problem talking.
UNTIL, Lacey started talking about BOSTON. She reminded me what we needed to be doing. Lacey started spitting with excitement. Saying words like faster runs, intentional runs, pacing, leg work, Lacey even reminded me of my race times at Bayshore, Boston and Cleveland.
Next thing I knew, I was picking up the pace, my heart was racing and my belly was hurting more.
We had to keep each other in check with our pace. As we chatted about our goals our legs were turning over faster.

It was a eerie run. All the snow had melted. The fog hung throughout the woods. The trees were naked but hardly afraid. They stood looming over the swamp. You could see all the trees that had fallen down, strong beastly trunks upside down with roots heavy and thick.
The moisture was so heavy both Lacey and I had beads of dew in our hair and eyebrows.

Running in capris and light layers was a refreshing gift for mid January.

When Lacey and I finished our Garmins were not matching. As meticulous as we were, I knew mine was more accurate.

We really NAILED our goal today. I was very happy to see the results when we finished. This really is the result of intentional training and holding each other accountable.
The last mile was uphill. We were getting quiet. Finishing up that last mile uphill I suggested we say our ABC'S and make sure we were still at a conversational pace in the middle of dread.
Together, like 5 year olds we sang ABCDEFG-THIS SUCKS HIJKLMNOP-YOUR PANTS-QRSTUVWXY AND Z!

 This afternoon was my second run in my new shoes:
New Balance 880. They did great.

RUNDOWN:
Distance: 12 miles
Avg Pace: 9:01

Splits were a little fast. But we were very consistent. Finishing with a negative split. PERFECT.

Whatever you are training. If you are truly TRAINING, it is very important to not willy nilly your training. If you never push yourself you never know what you are capable of.

Being disciplined  and intentional will bear fruit.

Runner accountability is a added bonus. Having that running partner that believes in you, encourages you and shares similar goals helps to keep you motivated and inspired.

I am very blessed in this department. I look forward to my partners calling during the week to keep me on track.

If you want to be great, surround yourself with greatness. You are what you hang with. Be inspired!

Anita~

Suffer in Silence

As a runner for a little over 14 years, I rarely go out for a run without a few aches and pains. Most of the time they go away, however many runs you just suck it up.
Often times, I don't share my aches simply because they are more of a nuisance than anything. Also, if I shared all these little "issues" people would begin to wonder "WHY" I run or even worse they would never want to pick up running.

So often I just "Suffer in Silence."

Wednesdays have now become a routine for me. I have made it to GAC 7 weeks in a row.
Jeff is usually waiting for me as I come in like a crazy wild woman.
Wednesdays have become STRENGTH Day.
Jeff pushes me with numbers and a lot of running wisdom. He makes sure I land somewhere in the land of SUCK. Then like a swirly (your head in a flushing toilet)  he holds my head there, occasionally letting me come up for air. When the suffering is finished he smiles and says something like "That wasn't enough to hurt to bad, it was just enough..." I stare at him thinking he is like Satan incarnate.
Yesterday was just like all the others but a little different, worse.

Worse, HOW?

Wednesday I had to start the TM a little faster then previous weeks. We do a progressive run every Wednesday. I always start out easy peasy conversational pace then continue to increase my pace. The last 2 miles I increase my pace every lap. The last LAP I increase my pace faster than my brain is moving in hopes that my body will not know what is happening.

The TM workout was a smidge faster than last week and I felt it ALL.

RUNDOWN:

TM Distance 6miles. 

Last 2 miles, Jeff whispers "Nitagirl, you might wanna put your music in NOW." I knew that meant he expected me to be working hard enough I couldn't chat. So if any of you want to know how to get me to shut up, RUN THE H*!! out of me, I get real quiet!

We finished up and headed to the TRACK for our strides, 6 total, this week we added one more.

Before we reached our straight way to start our first stride Jeff took off. "OH SHOOT!" I screamed trying to catch up.

Jeff did this for the next 4 strides. He knew exactly what he was doing. He was making me come catch him. He wanted me to run harder.  

The 5th stride I was tuckering out. My quads were burning but Jeff had this evil grin. I knew he was enjoying this torture.

I  wanted to whine and complain. Each time we came to the straight away I started out strong but within seconds I could feel my body figuring out what was going on. My muscles were aching, I was trying so hard to put the distance Jeff expected me to, between him and I. I was suffering. I had to bear it and take it like a champ. No whining, no complaining, this was all part of the process. Suffer in Silence.

Wednesday Total miles-7.25

Today I met Kris, Rachel and Ken out at Holly Rec to run the trails. We all came prepared for the icy trails. I was excited to use my Kahtoolas again. The first loop Ken was leading, he had us running at a pretty good clip. As we came to the second loop, we all decided to bring it down a notch. Each of us have our strong suits. Ken blasts the down hills. Rachel pummels the uphills, Kris is the steadiest person I know, that girl can run forever and me, I just try to smile the whole time so know one knows I am Suffering!
Thursday follows WEDNESDAY, STRENGTH day. I am counting miles, hills, turns, knocking off the amount of suffering I still have to do off. I remind myself this is good, good training, like a 100 times. I try to chat so I don't hear my body cursing at me. I try to suffer in silence and not burden anyone with my wimpiness.  

My Kahtoolas. LOVE~

Somewhere on the second loop, I mentioned being sore from Wednesday. Like clockwork each of my posse all added their empathetic suffering from their Wednesdays work out too.
Together, we all were Suffering in Silence. When we shared our stories we all felt like rock stars toughing it out.
Rundown:
Distance 11 miles.

Collision, Suffering in Silence.

"Bear Ye One Anothers Burdens and So Fulfill the Law of Christ." Gal 6:2

Often times we keep our suffering to ourselves. We play it safe. We think no one will understand. No one will care. No one wants to hear it.
When you find that right person, or persons that really do care, really do understand or really love you in your suffering it is like magic.
I am not one to complain. Life is really too short and has too much to be happy about. But today when I headed home after our run I thought about my crew. The ones around me. I am so blessed with friendships that do not just LISTEN to you but really HEAR you. Friendships that are positive, encouraging and at the same time Real. I can be ME, crazy, obnoxious, goofy and still be loved. We are all sharing, laughing, edifying and listening to one another. It is nice to know when things are NOT always rainbows and butterflies though that we do not have to Suffer in Silence.


BTW...I can't wait to tell you something super exciting Lacey shared with me....
Anita~