New Miles, New Smiles

"In an Ultra you should eat like a horse, drink like a fish, and run like a turtle."

 

I have a good friend who is honest and forthright with me. Qualities I LOVE. After reading my post yesterday she sent this question to me today.

"Why are you running an Ultra? Don't assume you know why I am asking. But, ask yourself deep down, why?"

 

I had a busy morning and afternoon. I had plenty of time to think about it and eventually respond.

I woke up at 5:30am to run 16 miles with Mary Ann. The temps were perfect, I  just needed my attitude to be in the same alignment.
We ran for about 45 minutes in the dark. It was exhilarating. It was also our slowest miles! The branches cracked, the bushes whispered and the dew made you feel like you were in an Alfred Hitchcock film. Every so often you would hear a crow release a creepy noise that made you want to run faster and look behind you.
It was hard to tell if I was struggling, Mary Ann and I were working hard at solving the worlds problems and inhaling a lot of air.

My miles were not where they should have been the last couple days. Sunday 18 and today 16. I should have been in the 20 digits. I am not fretting too much about it. I whined enough yesterday, today is a new day.

Every second I was inside myself, the question ruminated in my mind. I had some obvious answers and I had some questions for myself.
When I had some free time to respond my fingers flowed with words to her question.

 

"You know like days in the week, some runs are better than others. Most of my runs are fulfilling and enjoyable. The people I run with are a big love for me. Even when I twisted my ankle and stubbed my toes the outcome is usually positive. But..its so mental. Last week I had a lot of emotions, my body was sore, my heart was broken from our sudden loss, and my mind began to turn. I wasn't sleeping, I stepped back from running and just that quick, voices began turning like a bad record.

I had a couple snotty comments made tongue and cheek last week in regards to my running and that didn't help.

Haters hate.

But today was a new day. Temps were down, my frown was upside down and I decided I needed to get a good attitude. I didn't like the old one!

I finished 16 miles today with Mary Ann. We ran slower, did walk breaks and even walked the hills. Yes, I felt the accumulation of back to back runs, but it was the way I was supposed to feel. I like the ultra running because of days like today. I can stop and take a picture, I can walk, I can enjoy the turkeys crossing the road, I am not just running, I am soaking up the adventure in it."

 

We chatted a bit more, she encouraged me and reminded me to "forget the rest of the worlds opinion."

 

I was reminded today how grateful I am for the friends I am encircled around. They are truly like family to me. My running friends are such a blessing to me. You see when running an Ultra you are running a lot more miles, that means you get to run ALOT more with them!

 

 

Andy and I went to the funeral today of my good friend Lisa's mother in law. Andy grew up with so many of the people that attended. From teachers, to pastors, to students, it was like a reunion.

We sat back in the overflow room. I could barely walk. I left the comfort of my Hokas only to squeeze my blistered toes in 3 inch heels.

As we sat down this slender man about our age, bent down and spoke to us. As he whispered I strained my ear to hear. "...I run Ironmans...I follow you on Facebook and read your blog....I have always wanted to run Western states...Don't quit writing it inspires ...." Billy Hampton, Andy said his name was.

I was shocked that I could inspire a Triathlete. Or my writing, I always wonder who reads my writing with a multitude of errors.

We are in a society we don't give compliments or edify very much. But Billy went out of his way to edify me. It was so sweet.

Granted Andy made fun of me all day. But I can handle Andy.

 

Less than 2 WEEKS!! Woodstock 50m is fast approaching. I am gonna try and get a 30 miler in on Wednesday. Prayers Welcomed!

 

Anita

Rid me of Myself

"My grace is sufficient for you, for MY POWER is made perfect in Weakness."

 

I have days when I feel so inadequate. Days when insecurity takes root in my mind. The ball begins to roll, growing into a monster of emotions. From inadequacy to insecurity, then I feel fear rise and turn into anxiety. The monster grows, clouding out my hope and faith not just in myself but in God.

 

My 50 mile race is fast approaching. I ran 73 miles the week of the Crim. I raced the Crim, a very challenging 10 mile course only to add on the 8K after.  I ran 20 miles with a group of beastly trail runners, making that a 30 miles run.  

My body got trashed. My mind felt confident, until my body wasn't recovering from the abusive week of running.

I did everything I could think of, trying to recover my broken body. I iced, rolled, stretched, took Epson salt baths, watched my diet closely and prayed.

 

Maybe I didn't pray hard enough.

Maybe I didn't pray right.

Maybe I didn't ask others to pray for me.

No one is going to want to pray for me. There are bigger things out there then Anita running 50 miles. No one cares.

Insecurity. Heart ache. Confusion.

I needed to run to RID ME OF MYSELF.

 

The voices are so loud. "But God, You care, You love me, You have great and mighty things for me...Right?"

"God, I know running isn't going to solve the worlds problems, or it isn't going to feed the hungry, its not going to impact anyone in a life changing way...but its special to me...And God I JUST can't do it with out YOU, and I just do not WANT to do it without you next to me."

 

That terrible insecure moment when you wonder if God is listening or if he has bigger things to move on to.

 

I mean RUNNING? Does he really care? Are you out there Lord?

 

My ankle got beat up in the trails, I tripped on this root that I beleive came up from Hell and tried to bring me down with it. I lost a toenail and my toe is black. Every muscle screamed for days at me. And sleep?! I didn't sleep for 4 days.

 

I brought my weakened body to rest. I took my miles down and 2 days off this week.

WEAK. My body and my mind felt confused and WEAK.

 

20 miles was my training run for the today. I had circumstances that took precedence over my run. I didnt know how I was going to pull any miles off in the heat anyway.

And my body? How was it going to feel? Did it recover?

 

I never quit today, but I wanted to quit a thousand times. The sweat was stinging my eyes, the heat was scorching my skin. And I was tired.  The voices in my head were arguing with each other, I felt like I was losing. Losing the battle.
With 4 miles in we were totally drenched in sweat, How was I going to make it another 14-16 miles. I felt so defeated.
Jama, my running partner shared my misery. Together, we just put one foot in front of each other.
I don't know what was more work, trying to drown out the chatter in my head or continue to run.

Sometimes we look at our circumstances and think;
 "How am I going to get through this?"
"I am so broken, I am so beat up, I just cant see the end of it all."
"Does it matter? What's the point?"
"HELLO?? God Are YOU out There, This is Anita...Remember me?"

Being WEAK isn't so bad. It is a reminder that I am HUMAN. I am not some super hero. It is the perfect reminder of who I am NOT and who HE is.
After I ran, I had to attend a showing. A dear friend of mine, Lisa lost her mother in law at 65. So young.
As I was leaving Coats Funeral home, a woman caught my eye. I barely know her but I stopped, turned and gave her a hug. We shared a few words and she finished our brief conversation with "...You inspire me.."

She had no idea how uninspiring I felt this week. I felt weak, insecure, inadequate... But then God showed up again in a great and mighty way. His POWER, gave me the strength to NOT quit. His POWER gave me confidence, gave me comfort and gave me security through her words. He spoke through someone else to remind me of His Power.
Weakness is not just a physical condition, Mental weakness breeds and reigns havoc.
Her words put a lump in my throat. Even in my Weakness HIS power is PERFECT.

Rid me of myself

Because I Belong to YOU.

 

Anita

Suck It Up Buttercup: Crim 2015

I took the day off work, to RUN. Makes perfect sense, right?
Not just any run, THE CRIM. It is a very popular race in Flint and it is my favorite.

The Plan: To Pace Joan at a sub 8. I was trying to get her between a 7:45-8/mi.
The Conflict:

•  NOT to INJURE MYSELF for training. I still have a 32 mile run in a couple days. Trying so hard to not be stupid. Marry myself to the watch, pay close attention to my body and LISTEN to it. And again, don't be STUPID. I am really good at that.
• This summer I did a weekly running club prepping the kids to run the 8K at the Crim. I really wanted to be there with them. I not only wanted to see their victory but I also felt responsible to make sure they all found their parents afterward.

Mom and dad showed up like clockwork, 6:30am. We had a couple extra kids with us. My car seats 7, we fit 8!

Cloud cover and 65' degrees gave a very welcoming Crim Day.
Austin brought his friend Nick and Alec brought his friend Gauge. Gauge was now a 51 year old man! My friend Claudia gave me her hubbies bib because he couldn't run.

We parked by the YMCA, this was closer for my parents to walk. It was great, We must remember this for next year.
My coffee kicked in and I had to hit the bathrooms. The bus station had public restrooms with low lines. Only I didn't see the 15 ladies INSIDE the bathroom.
By the time I did my business, gagged down the smell of someone elses's business and found Andy, he looked irritated. I just do what I do best, put on my big smile, say "Sorry, I had no idea" and move along!
We located Joan and her family about 20 minutes before the starting line. We gathered together to pray. I love this part. Knowing God is hearing us and with us gives me so much comfort. Running one step without seeking him just doesn't make sense. It is like trying to start your car with no keys. I work better seeking him.

Joan and I squeezed our 5' frames in between the bars to our B Corral.
I didn't feel nervous, I was anxious, Lets get this  show on the road.

At 8:05 we crossed the starting line. I noticed the 8/mi pacer, "Joan, we need to be in front of them."
I didn't think closing that 75 foot gap was going to be as difficult as it was. It took over 3 miles to catch up to them. They were clearly NOT running on pace. I knew how wiped  out I was, I wondered how they must be feeling.
We were running next to this Mexican looking guy with bright yellow high socks. He was laughing and cutting up with us. I nicknamed him "Smiley". He smiley, I want to see that smile through the Bradleys!"

I was still trying to catch my breath as we hit the Bradley hills at mile 4/5. Desperately trying to locate some energy, I coaxed the guy next to me to not let me pass him.  Well, he hung on and after that 3rd hill, he never looked back!
I did hear a voice to my right, It was Ken H. He spewed a couple jokes then dropped back.

And Smiley, he too was no where to find.

It took 6 miles to come into myself. I could breath, think and enjoy the Crim for all it was.
I had been letting Joan take the lead. A few times I had to remind her to bring it down.
It was at the 6 mile mark she was starting to feel it. She was reminding me to bring it down. We were walking the water stations. I kept reminding Joan how great she was doing. She was bound to have a Personal Record for the Crim (PR).

As mile 7 approached, I saw a  familiar pair of socks, It was SMILEY. "SMILEY! Come on, stay with us!"
He did. I could tell he was toast. He was probably mad at me for making him pick it back up. "Smiley, are you are boxer?" He had a boxer body. "NO, I'm a RUNNER." He replied winded. I loved the way he said that, "NO, I'm a RUNNER." Right on!
He stayed with us. There was a girl to Joans right who was struggling. She was beautiful, she was black, tall and strong. I drew her in trying to encourage her as well.

At mile 8, I saw Kris K. She is a local runner. Running up to her I said "HI Kris". She passed me a smile, but you could see the strain in it. I actually felt bad passing her. I wanted to string her along with us, but I also didn't want her to beat me. She beat me at the last race, Wings of Mercy 5K. So opted to encourage her instead of invite her.

We were all still hanging on at mile 9. All Joan and I had to do was maintain. Joan was killing it.
"Two more lights, then turn and your on the bricks to the FINISH!" one of the volunteers cheered.
I looked up and started counting them.
I assessed my body and began making my plan for the FINISH.

The final turn was behind us. The girl picked it up and headed in. Smiley followed suit in the excitement. Joan too began to turn it over. "Joan, it is a lot farther down there than it looks, settle here a bit more."
There is something magical when your shoes hit the bricks. You can not be tamed. Joan and I went after it.
Smiley should have stayed back with us. He slowed up, using too much energy too fast. I picked it up one more gear and passed him right before the FINISH.

My 10th Crim, My first CRIM I ran a 9:09

I was able to plant a smile right before I thought I was going to PUKE. I swallowed it down and turned around to get Joan. Joan hugged me and I could tell I was holding her up. She ROCKED it.
Joan knocked 6 minutes off her time.
And the guy that passed us up the Bradleys..he was there at the FINISH line holding up his hand for a fist pump!
Laughing in Joans victory we filled our arms up with post race food and beverages, apples, bananas, popsicles, chocolate milk and whatever else they were offering.
Javon, her fiancé was on the sidelines. "Andy is at the starting line for Alecs race."
OH CRAP. I took off, I had to get to the starting line.

This summer I did a running club and trained the kids all summer to run the 8K at the Crim,I had to be there.
I could hear the speaker doing the count down. He was moving the runners forward. "1 minute until start!"
Where was Andy? I was looking everywhere. I spotted Austin, there was Andy taking pictures of Alec with his friends. I came up behind Andy. I startled him. I dropped all my food at Andys feet and started ripping off my timing tag off the back of my bib. "I am going to run with them."
Andy gave me that half crazed face "What, Your going to do what?"

With my popscicle still in my hands, I was squeezing myself between the bars again!
Then I got the SAME look from Alec!
It was too late to think about turning back, we were running across the starting mats.

A grave MISTAKE. At mile 1.2, I was barely hanging with the kids. "Anita, TURN back NOW!"
"NO, You have got to run with the kids."
"You can NOT maintain this 8/mi pace, you will surely die."
"NO, I know that a couple of the kids will drop back, I can't loose them, they shouldn't  be out here alone with all these people."
I argued this for over 2 miles. At that point I had to stick it out.
So I waited for a couple of the kids to drop back and they DID!

"I have a side stitch.."
I gently replied,"Oh, do you need to walk!" Say YES,SAY YES...
A few minutes later, "Can we have a walk break, my stomach hurts?" For SURE!
It went like that all the way to the FINISH. My legs were JELLO, my body was fatigued and the sun showed up blazing on me.
BUT I FINISHED! And I had the kids in check up against thousands of runners.
Even though I was hurting really bad, it was WORTH it to be able to locate and find the kids. Being part of their victory was like part of mine as well.

THIS year was my 10th CRIM. And it was perfect. Victory is not just a pace, or a place in a race. Victory is sharing someone else's victory, helping others in their successes. I love helping others achieve their Victory. It is undeniably full of AWESOMENESS.

Tim Hortons at the FINISH line, Simply the BEST!

RUNNING on a PRAYER:

• 16 miles on Saturday.
• 3 miles on Sunday to try and "Shake it out".
• 2 nights of complete crap for sleep and I had to get up to meet Ken H for my long run this morning.
• My legs have been restless, my body feels overheated, I am kicking the covers off, tossing and turning. Andy is very patient. I wish I was.
• I ran 10 with Ken H.
• I Met Claudia at 8:50 and headed to Holdridge trails to meet a group of runners.
• My legs were so sore. I had NO idea how I going to pullout 20 miles on trails. I was RUNNING on a prayer. LITERALLY.
• I have a lot of people praying for me.

Me, Paula, Matt and Ken, Missing is Claudia

I just ran one mile at a time. Prepared to bail at any mile. I stayed back. Listened more than I spoke. I know, hard to believe. I was conserving as much energy as I could. Besides, I was afraid if I spoke it would be about all the pain I was in. I thought I better just keep my mouth shut.
I twisted my ankle, like a hundred times. Hardly graceful like Paula in front of me. She just danced around the roots, rocks and pickers. I was behind getting slapped in the face with tree branches, falling over roots, tripping in crevices and trying so hard to hang with the big dogs!

But I finished, as UGLY as it was, I Finished. The only thing cute were my New Hokas. There is NO returning them, they are totally BROKE IN! But even after 30 miles in them they looked better than I did!


Less than 3 weeks. Please keep me in prayer. I need to stay healthy. Running on prayers. Asking God to protect me and keep my strong.

Anita

The WINNER is...

I thought I was typing for the last 2 minutes and looked up only to see a BLANK screen!
I am getting tired but not sleepy if that makes sense. I worked on my CRIM RECAP for an hour and LOST EVERYTHING!
So before I turn into UGLY and say words that I try very hard to not say I am pulling the cord!

BUT BEFORE I DO, I want to CONGRATULATE SAMANTHA for winning the CONTEST! She Guessed 1:16 for my CRIM time and I RAN 1:17 and some change.  Check out her running blog, I run these towns.

I am running my LONG run in the morning, Wish me LUCK! I am still super sore!
Could seriously use some prayers!

Anita

Crim Contest!

SATURDAY is the CRIM.
One of my favorite races.

My knee is aggravated. I am not sure why it wouldn't be. I mean like 3 weeks in a row that I have ran a marathon plus. Almost 70 mile run weeks. I need a prayer!

Seriously, PRAYER. I brought my miles WAY down the last 2 days. I have brought my pace down as well.
So I guess we shall see.

So here's the game. CLOSEST to the hole for the CRIM. If you can guess closest to my race time I will send you out a fun care package!
Share in my comments below or share on my Facebook page. Running Against the ODds.

I am heading to the Expo to pick up my bib tomorrow night. So I am going to get some goodies for the WINNER!

To help you guess:

• I am NOT racing. I am way to nervous to injure myself more.
• I would be the biggest loser if I raced. I am NOT in Race Place!

Again, Asking for prayers. Less than 4 weeks out from my Ultra. I believe God can heal. But I also am desperately seeking prayer.

Anita

Catch a train ride

Is it gonna rain or not going to rain. That is the question!
If you are going to run you just need to get out there and run. You can not take the weather at its word or you may never get your laces tied.
I ran in the afternoon. One thing is a certain, it was HOT.
There are runs that I just go out for the love of running.

I managed to get my son to run a mile with me! A whole whopping mile. I secretly thought I may be able to talk him into more. He didn't run even a step more than a mile.
I defined my run a FUN RUN. Another easy peasey run. It was scorching out, the heat alone was going to be challenging enough to get my 5 miles in.
Running doesn't have to always be so serious. Married to your watch, beating your self up over your pace, struggling to maintain your  training miles is fine, but can lead to burn out.
When training for a specific race discipline and commitment is vital. But every once in a while you have got to smile, wave and daydream.

Todays goal was 5 miles. No pace, no race. It was 91 degrees. The goal was to be that nerdy local. One with a big cheesy smile on her face. I was that, I even made it a point to WAVE to at least 10 people. The town I live in is pretty small, making my goals more achievable than a sub 8 pace! And less painful.
My run was enjoyable until about mile 3! The permagrin was making me sweat! I got stopped my a train and seriously questioned jumping on it. It is a good thing no one was with me, I think I would have convinced them to try it with me. The train was actually going about my run pace! NO LIE. It wouldn't have taken much coaxing. I actually am disappointed I didn't do it. I was concerned I would be breaking the law and end up in jail. Can you only imagine?! Is there a LAW for train jumping?

Here is my Running Partner for the week...Jessica!

 

 

 

 

 

• Jessica and I know each other from both church and we used to work together.
• I enjoyed running last year with her. She ran the Crim and will be out there again.
• Jessica is a incredible mommy.

LAST WEEKS NUMBERS:

• Longest Run-30 miles
• Hardest run-17miler
• Total miles:68

My left knee is being a bit bothersome. I think I will be keeping my miles down. The Crim is Saturday. I WILL NOT BE RACING IT. I will be running it though! Stay tuned. Tomorrow I will Post a contest.

Im going to finish off the rest of the chocolate Kay gave me from Vienna. It is AMAZING!

 

ANITA

From Strength to Strength

As I read my devotional, then opened my bible, the word STRENGTH kept appearing.

6AM Buckhorn Lk Rd.

Today, I didn't feel very strong. I ran 30 miles yesterday and walked another 2 miles with mom last night.  My training schedule had me running another 16 miles today. When you are training for an ultra, the training has you running back to back long runs. It is brutal. However, I got a message from Jama to see if I would like to join her and Mary Ann for their long run.
At least I didn't have to run it alone!

I didn't sleep real good, not too bad but not good. I was anxious to get out of bed at 5:15am to meet the girls at 6am.
I had all my stuff laid out.
My body was a little confused when I laced up my shoes. I rolled and stretched only to discover my legs were not too forgiving.

Jama and Mary Ann picked the route. It was as awful as it was magnificent.
AWEFUL: Infested with blood sucking, flesh eating black flies. I killed 12 that I counted. SMACK, GRAB, ROLL, FLICK!
And the HILLS, NEVER ending, it was like we just kept revisiting them. SO many ruthless, painstaking, quad burning hills.
MAGNIFICENT: GODS Masterpiece. The landscape was designed to perfection. Greenery everywhere, Swamps and ponds on both sides sprinkled with wild flowers in purple, yellow and white.  Weeping willows looming over the roads with pussy willows and tall grasses everywhere. The sun came up over the trees and it was breath taking. The sky was painted in bright pink and purples.

With only 3 miles on my Garmin I questioned how I was going to finish the next 13 miles. I felt so weak. I trailed behind Jama and Maryann. I wondered if they would notice if I disappeared and went back home.

As we ran, the beauty of Gods workmanship was like a canopy covering us. We were in the shadows of the trees. We were protected from the suns brilliance. We could see her power yet we were able to escape her fiery rays.

There was STRENGTH in the thought of knowing God was taking care of me. Protecting me.

PSALM 84:5 "How blessed is the man whose Strength is in You.."

PSALM 84:7 "They go from STRENGTH to STRENGTH.."

Mary ANN and Jama jumped in...I was a tad more cautious

"LIKE A BOSS!"

At the ending miles of our run we noticed another crazy runner on the opposite side of the street. I recognized her, it was Jennifer. I just met her a couple weeks ago. She joined us. The more miles we incurred the hotter it was getting. We hit the local lake at mile 15 and jumped in. It was so refreshing. Running that last mile back wasn't too bad. Even though we were wet, it didn't feel too terrible. After all, I had a lot more complaints. Like every muscle in my body was complaining, individually.

Best part of Michigan, there is a lake almost anywhere you can jump into on a 17 mile run!

The Last Mile, my body revolted against me. My sugar dropped, I got dizzy and I started dry heaving, I was so embarrassed. The girls stayed by me and we walked the last mile in. We actually over calculated our 16 miler into 17.

Jama, Jennifer, Mary Ann and I...If you can tell me WHO the GUY is with the dog, I will SEND you a CARE PACKAGE!

My last verse from my reading today really wrapped everything together for me.

Psalm 84:11 "For the Lord God is a Sun and a Shield: The Lords gives grace and glory: No good thing does he withhold form those who walk uprightly."

 

Sun and Shield, Today it was HOT. It was full sun this morning when we ran. But God no only provided provisions he also provided protection. I am reminded today that he gives me STRENGTH to STRENGTH and takes care of me every mile I go.

Anita